For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it, PAROLLES. Ber. He shall be whipped through the army, with this rhyme in his forehead. 2 Lord. This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist, and the armipotent soldier. Ber. I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he's a cat to me. 1 Sold. I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall be fain to hang you. Par. My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to die; but that, my offences being many, I would repent out the remainder of nature: let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i'the stocks, or any where, so I may live. 1 Sold. We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore, once more to this captain Dumain: You have answered to his reputation with the duke, and to his valour: What is his honesty ? Par. He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. He professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking them, he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such volubility, that you would think truth were à fool: drunkenness is his best virtue. I have but little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has every thing that an honest man should not have; what an honest man should have, he has nothing. 1 Lord. I begin to love him for this. Ber. For this description of thine honesty? A plague upon him for me, he is more and more a cat, 1 Sold. What say you to his expertness in war? Par. Faith, sir, he has led the drum before the English tragedians, - to belie him, I will not, and more of his soldiership I know not; except, in that country, he had the honour to be the officer at a place there call'd Mile-end, to instruct for the doubling of files: I would do the man what honour I can, but of this I am not certain. 1 Lord. He hath out-villained villainy so far, that the rarity redeems him. Ber. A plague on him! he's a cat still. 1 Sold. His qualities being at this poor price, I need not ask you, if gold will corrupt him to revolt. Par. Sir, for a quart d'ecu' he will sell the fee simple of his salvation, the inheritance of it; and cut the entail from all remainders, and a perpetual succession for it perpetually. 1 Sold. What's his brother, the other captain Dumain? 2 Lord. Why does he ask him of me? 1 Sold. What's he? Par. E'en a crow of the same nest; not altogether so great as the first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is: In a retreat he outruns any lackey; marry, in coming on he has the cramp. 1 Sold. If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray the Florentine ? Par. Ay, and the captain of his horse, count Rousillon. 1 Sold. I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure. 3 Par. I'll no more drumming; a plague of all drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy the count, have I run into this danger: Yet, who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken? [Aside. 1 Sold. There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the general says, you, that have so traitorously discovered the secrets of your army, and made such 2 The fourth part of the smaller French crown. pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can serve the world for no honest use; therefore you must die. Come, headsmen, off with his head. Par. O Lord, sir; let me live, or let me see my death. 1 Sold. That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends. [Unmuffling him. So, look about 2 Lord. Captain, what greeting will you to my lord Lafeu? I am for France. of 1 Lord. Good captain, will you give me a copy the sonnet you writ to Diana in behalf of the count Rousillon? an I were not a very coward, I'd compel it of you; but fare you well. [Exeunt BERTRAM, Lords, &c. 1 Sold. You are undone, captain: all but your scarf, that has a knot on't yet. Par. Who cannot be crushed with a plot? 1 Sold. If you could find out a country where but women were that had received so much shame, you might begin an impudent nation. Fare you well, sir; I am for France too; we shall speak of you there. [Exit. Par. Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great, "Twould burst at this: Captain, I'll be no more'; But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft As captain shall: simply the thing I am Shall make me live. Who knows himself a brag- Let him fear this; for it will come to pass, I'll after them. [Exit. 1 SCENE IV. Florence. A Room in the Widow's House. Enter HELENA, Widow, and DIANA. Hel. That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you, One of the greatest in the Christian world Shall be my surety; 'fore whose throne, 'tis needful, My husband hies him home; where, heaven aiding, Wid. Gentle madam, Hel. Nor you, mistress, Ever a friend, whose thoughts more truly labour To recompense your love; doubt not, but heaven Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower, As it hath fated her to be my motive And helper to a husband. O strange men! Dia. Let death and honesty Go with your impositions, I am yours 4 Commands. Hel. Yet, I pray you, But with the word, the time will bring on summer, [Exeunt. SCENE V. Rousillon. A Room in the Countess's Palace. Enter Countess, LAFEU, and Clown. Laf. No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipttaffata fellow there; whose villainous saffron would have made all the unbak'd and doughy youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at this hour; and your son here at home, more advanced by the king, than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of. Count. I would, I had not known him! it was the death of the most virtuous gentlewoman, that ever nature had praise for creating; if she had cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I could not have owed her a more rooted love. Laf. 'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a thousand salads, ere we light on such another herb. Clo. Indeed, sir, she was the sweet-marjoram of the salad, or, rather, the herb of grace.' Laf. They are not salad-herbs, you knave, they are nose-herbs. Clo. Sir, I have not much skill in grass. s End. 6 There was a fashion of using yellow starch for bands and ruffles, to which Lafeu alludes. 7 i. e. Rue. |