whenever they had no better engagement, in order to make sure that I dined at home.

"General invitations go for less than nothing in my opinion," was his ungracious reply. "In proof of which, I invite you to dine here on Saturday, the fourteenth of May, to meet a pleasant party, and eat a detestable dinner."

"Invite my sister to dinner at a week's date?" interrupted Armine. "On the contrary, pray ask her to dine with us, en famille, to-morrow!"

"Our specimen of a breakfast, en famille, this morning, proved, no doubt, very attractive," said Herbert. No, no! no family dinners for a fine lady like Mrs. Delaval, who cannot live without her Almack's and Merioneth House, and who keeps a cordon bleu of a chef, if I am to trust to the low bow I saw bestowed on her carriage yesterday, from Crockford's window, by George Hanton. A family dinner!-boiled soles and shrimp sauce, a fat leg of mutton, and sallow potatoes, peeled with a knife! Faugh!"

And, in spite of all I could urge, he held me engaged to dinner for the fourteenth. Now, though I should dearly like to dine with the Herberts alone, and chat with Armine after dinher, I have not the slightest inclination to derange them by preparations for a party. I perfectly remember, in my aunt Margaret's establishment, the general disarrangement produced by the occasional ceremony of giving a dinner; besides which, I have been forced by his peremptory proposal to put off a weekly standing engagement to the Delavals; where, on Saturdays, a party of parliamentary men always assembles. But my penance was to be; and, today, at seven o'clock, I drove to New Norfolk-street. The moment I entered I felt persuaded things would go wrong. The footman looked stiff and stupid in a new livery, as fine as yellow plush could make him; and the butler, as sulky as a country butler always looks under the temporary subjection of a maître d'hôtel hired for the day. Armine was not dressed when I arrived, and Herbert stood on the hearth-rug, swearing at her dilatoriness, and the overpowering perfume of some jonquilles and heliotropes, with which she had ornamented the jardinière. His pettishness was soon silenced by the announcement of a Sir Dunstan Forbes, a tall, squareshouldered, fussy man, too huge of stature and too

loud of tone for so small a mansion; and, immediately afterward, a thundering knock, and Armine hurried in, drawing on her gloves, just in time to receive Sir John and Lady Farrington; the lady dazzling in a fulltrimmed lilach satin gown, diamonds, and a wreath of roses! The sun shone brightly upon our finery and illhumour; and every time the door was opened came a powerful whiff of the unwholesome vapour of charcoal. Two other men dropped slowly in; but the remaining two, who were to make out our party of ten, not yet making their appearance, the children were asked for by Lady Farrington, a Bedfordshire neighbour of my sister, apparently well-versed in her family concerns. Herbert interposed his interdiction, saying, that children before dinner were a bore. Armine looked nervous Lady Farrington pleaded with affected earnestness; and, after ten minutes' disputing, the nursery bell was rung, the children, evidently waiting the summons, in all their company finery, arrived, and set up a quartett of roaring, or rather a glee-for Montresor, the eldest boy, ran boldly in and climbed on Lady Farrington's lilach satin knees; while poor dear Armine, after vainly endeavouring to pacify them, and eke the head nurse, who bridled with suppressed indignation on hearing her master assert that they were the worst managed brats in England, sentenced them to return to the place from whence they came.

Herbert, looking at his watch, proclaimed that it was half past seven, and talked of ordering dinner. Armine pleaded that Lord Lancaster was always late; and that, from Spring Gardens to New Norfolk-street was a vast distance for Lord Hampton. The Album was accordingly reopened and readmired by those nearest the table; the "Keepsake," and the "Book of Beauty," were commented upon, according to individual tastes; and Sir Dunstan inquired of Sir John whether he had been late at the house the preceding night, in order to prove to the two silent gentlemen in black that they were in presence of honourable members.

Again there came a pause; and Sir Dunstan attacked Lady Farrington on the exhibition at Somerset House; he giving as his own the sturdy criticisms of the Athenæum, and she replying in the flimsy of the Court Magazine. Herbert was growing flushed, when a carriage rattled to the door, and in came Lord Hampton, all

bustle, fuss, and apology, affecting to pant for breath; shaking hands to the right and left, with the empressement of a man who arrives too late; bowing impertinently low to the two strangers, as if to announce himself most affably resigned to make the acquaintance of the whole injured company.

"I have a thousand apologies to offer to Mrs. Herbert," spluttered his lordship, in an audible voice to her husband. "But the fact is, I uniformly dine at eight; and being fully persuaded that you had invited me at eight, I desired François to have my things ready for me at the usual hour. I was sauntering leisurely near the Mount Gate, at twenty minutes after seven, when, happening to meet Lancaster, he said, 'I thought you were to dine at Herbert's?' adding something about an early dinner, which absolutely startled me. He observed that you were very considerate to dine at such an hour, in order to enable us to see something of the Norma. Believe me, I was horror-struck!-took but three minutes and a quarter to reach Spring Gardens -searched for your card-found it-gave myself five minutes to dress-waited only while my horses were putting to, and have now nothing left but to throw myself on Mrs. Herbert's good-nature."

This apology, which apology was none, was received with indulgence; and the party, yawning and hungry, satisfied that Lord Lancaster intended to cut the affair altogether, fell upon him like cannibals, and were tearing him to pieces, when in he sauntered,-cool, undaunted, unapologizing, bowing slightly to his hosts, saluting Lord Hampton with a glance, and totally unconscious of the presence of any other person. A dead silence ensued; during which he glided across the room to make the inquiry d'usage of my sister. "Have you been out this morning ?-Lovely day!-exquisite weather!" while we all waited, impatiently the announcement of dinner. But, as it may usually be observed in such cases, the dinner that has been kept waiting, in the end causes others to wait; and more than a quarter of an hour elapsed before we found ourselves wedging_our way down to the dining-room, while ittle Horace Herbert was roaring his up to the nursery, I heard his father making good-natured remarks to Lady Farrington, who was leaning on his arm; while I followed, on that of Lord Hampton, into a dining-room overheated with

Carcel lamps, lighted and smoking for the last two hours. In the act of sending away his scarcely tasted soup, Lord Lancaster, affecting to perceive me, made me a formal bend of recognition, while I swallowed in uneasy silence my cold turbot and warm cucumber.

At three out of every six of even the best dinners given in London, the company is ill assorted, and the party dull. But, when damped by a really indifferent dinner, nothing can be more unsocial than such a meeting. Sir John and Lady Farrington talked Bedfordshire with Armine and Herbert, which, to all the rest of the party, was Hebrew and Greek; Lancaster and Hampton talked club to each other across the table,-a dialect equally mysterious to the uninitiated; the two silent gentlemen grew absolutely dumb during the process of mastication; and Sir Dunstan, by whom I was seated, bored me by a series of fretful animadversions on the evils of the age,-abusing the postoffice,-reformbill,— macadamization,―public places,-private society,-men and things,-women and books; and at every new topic of dissertation ending by protesting that, if the thing went on, he would certainly write to the Times. Any news from Hollybridge?" inquired Sir John, addressing my brother-in-law.

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"Nothing important. I had a letter from Thoms yesterday. They want rain. By-the-way, Thoms mentioned that Denis (Lord Forcefig's head-keeper) had been over to our friend Smith, about a warrant for the people in Broomby Bottom. It seems they have now some grounds to go upon. Still I hope Smith will be cautious. Smith is apt to let his sportsmanlike feelings run away with him. That affair about the Oakley keepers did him a great deal of injury in the county. I trust Smith will be cautious."

"Did Thoms say whether any thing was settled about slating the almshouses at Dudley? My man Robson was up last week on business at Smithfield; and he told me that at the last meeting nothing was decided; adding (between ourselves) that every thing in that quarter was likely to remain at sixes and sevens till we were back again. Smith is a sad potterer, unless on matters connected with the sporting interest."

"Were you late last night?" inquired Lord Lancaster of Lord Hampton, in a cross fire.

"About three! I stayed out another rubber."

"It was going hard against you when I left. The admiral was getting fussy. I heard him call for a glass of Madeira."

"He lost sixteen points of five; and the night before, a couple of hundred against Hilton."

"He had better pull up. The admiral's play is worse than any thing, except his luck."

"Have you heard that he has promised to put up Taffrail ?"

"He had better let it alone. Taffrail was with our squadron at Cherbourg last summer. We know him. It won't do."

"He was black-balled three times last winter at Paris."

"That argues nothing. The Carlist clique blackball all the English upon principle. They have thrown over some of the best fellows in town; and show no mercy to younger brothers like Taffrail. A low bow from Rothschild would have been his only guarantee."

"You were at the Opera, madam, on Saturday?" said Sir Dunstan, addressing me, meanwhile, with stately condescension;-to which inquiry I bowed an affirmative. "In that case, I trust you participated in the indignation I could scarcely repress at finding the last act of the Gazza Ladra substituted for the first act of the Semiramide. Who is to rely upon the veracity of the bills, if such abuses are tolerated? An individual pays his money for a ticket, upon the faith of the announcement, expecting to see the first act of the Semiramide: they give him the last act of the Gazza Ladra! He has, perhaps, seen it before-perhaps repeatedly, and to satiety. Yet to this abuse the public are required tamely to submit! I fairly warn Monsieur Laporte, that, should he again presume to trifle in a similar manner with the forbearance of his subscribers, I will write a letter to the Times."

And this is rational conversation-Heighho! heighho! heighho!-Miss Austin observes, in one of the best of her admirable novels, that "when lovely woman stoops to be disagreeable," the only art her guilt to cover is, like the lovely woman who stoops to folly, "to die!" Yet, what multitudes stoop to be disagreeable!-How many of those who are sulking with the world, from finding themselves less important, less beautiful, less lauded than they could wish, take refuge in the morass