in another, and no man wishes for himself. Excuse my observations, and permit me to proceed. I am informed that my uncle Solomon is a politician at the club, and amongst his neighbours a wit; that he has been known to utter shrewd jokes upon the ministry, to quote profane rhymes from Poor Robin's Almanack, and to indulge himself in all those fanciful relaxations of the mind to which every good citizen is entitled, not inconsistent with his trade, his understanding, or his taste. It is, however, his peculiar study to hide every little sally of his wit from my observation, and confine all conversation uttered within my hearing to morality; the essence of which, according to his opinion, consists in gravity and a long face. This gravity I never knew my uncle relax but once, and then it was in order to tell me, that a gentleman, who came to solicit his vote for a lectureship in the Borough, had absolutely won him over from an opposite party by paying a pretty compliment to his country-box, which he was pleased to denominate Tully's Tusculum. I took that opportunity of making an attempt (an awkward one, I suppose, because it was not understood) to pay the same kind of pretty compliment to his tobacco warehouses, which I begged leave to christen Tully's Offices. My uncle and I sometimes traverse what he calls his premises, which, without much bodily exertion, may be accomplished in something less than four minutes and a half, but, according to our plan of proceeding, it generally consumes near an hour. leaden swans (which, by a very classical metamorphosis, are now become black) are the innocent causes of much impatience to me: they delay us in

The

our journey round the premises, while they furnish my uncle with an opportunity to display his discoveries in morality, and to descant upon the rapid flight of time: "Not seven years ago," says he, "till next twenty-fourth of July, did I buy those birds of Mr. William Dreadnought, plumber, in Fenchurch-street. They were then as pretty bits of fowl as ever were turned out of a shop. Learn from this, nephew, that the strongest things will decay and consider the rate at which time passes." "Yes, sir, sixty minutes to the hour, twelve hours to the day, and twelve months to the year." "Right, nephew, calendar months." It was settled calendar months, and we proceeded. The weathercocks only delayed us while we observed that they were happily emblematical of the mutability of human events; that one of them wanted greasing, and that a high station was no exemption from the inconveniences and wants of life. We now reached the gravel-walk, where I ventured, with all the gravity of speech and countenance I could summon, to hint my doubts as to the propriety of his having fixed up in his garden two objects which might possibly deceive some people into an opinion that they were men, when in fact they were not so. But, to qualify my observation, I thought it prudent to throw in something which he might understand as a compliment, and induce him to open his whole mind upon so momentous a subject. I told him that a petty tradesman might please himself in deceptions of that kind, without the danger of misleading any one; but that I thought it rather improper in him, to whose motions the world turned the eye of observation, who had been known never

to refuse the payment of a bill at sight, who had never indulged himself beyond a Chelsea bun, and a glass of Herefordshire cider on a Sunday, and who was undoubtedly the first tobacconist in the whole street. I saw my uncle was pleased with my argument: he attempted rather to excuse than defend what he had done. He confessed it was a deceit, yet he hoped a harmless one; that when he was younger than he now is, he had sacrificed something to taste; he remembered, to say the truth, when he first put them up, that his conscience rather misgave him; but, to quiet his apprehensions, he had written upon each of their gun-locks, To prevent mistakes, these are not real men, but only sham ones.-W. D. fecit.

I was fully satisfied with a subject on which whatever arguments I might have conceived, my countenance would not suffer me to declare.

I left the house of this moral philosopher a few days ago with many good injunctions, which he who remembers may at least be entertained, if not edified. In the last conference which I enjoyed with him, he delivered himself to me in something like the following words :-" My dear nephew, I have your interest very much at heart, and should be glad to see you as well in the world as myself. You are certainly much improved, and can now, I dare say, have a just value for a few maxims, which I shall lay down for the regulation of your conduct. Trust me, I know a little of these matters; old heads, and old shoulders; and though I say it that shouldn't say it, I can tell a six from a nine as well as those that make such a flourish with their wise pates and empty pockets. With

regard to your studies, your master can probably direct you as well as I can; I only advise you, above all things, don't puzzle your brains and waste your labour in writing verses. I never knew a fellow that had a shilling in his pocket write verses: you may as well expect to pick up gold under the pump at Aldgate as to get any thing by it. I caution-you against reading novels and elegies, and all bad books. There is a book I have heard, which pretends to prove that there is no such thing as time: but this is all a flam, and I tell you there is, and very precious it is. He who loses it had better lose his dinner; and to him who makes the most of it 'tis as money in the stocks. There's a little money for you go, and mind your book, and don't ride jackasses on Sundays; for the poor beasts should have a day's rest, and you'll only tear your best breeches, and incur the displeasure of your master."

I shall here finish my account of Mr. Hatchpenny, only informing you, that he is a married man; and, should the patience of your readers not be quite exhausted, I shall take some opportu nity of giving you a little insight into the character of my aunt. She is not a moralist of the same kind exactly as her husband, and will not therefore afford an example of the same species of folly. They shine in different spheres, and are upon most considerations better asunder. Tell your readers, if you please, lest they should not have observed it, that the dull solemnity of proverbial wisdom, which consists in "shreds of sentences," and remnants of moral sayings, being applicable to all occasions, and accessible to all understandings, is no proof of wisdom or honesty. And let those who are satisfied

with such kind of knowledge, improve their system, by adding to it some excellent treatises from the repository of Mr. Newbery, adapted to the meanest capacities, price twopence halfpenny, adorned with cuts."

66

I am, sir, yours, &c.

SOCRATES IN EMBRYO.

MONRO.

No. XXIX.

SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 1787.

Ridiculum acri

Fortius et melius plerumque secat res.-Hor.

It is wisely ordained by the laws of England, that "the person of the monarch is sacred;" as also that "the king can do no wrong." The meanin

of this last maxim I take to be, that, if wrong should happen at any time to be done, the blame is to be laid upon the administration, and not upon the king.

A friend, some years ago, took me into the house of commons, to attend the debates upon the opening of a session; when an honourable gentleman made so free with the speech, which I had but just before heard most gracefully pronounced by his majesty from the throne, that my hair stood an end, and I was all over in a cold sweat; till, towards the close of his oration, he relieved and restored me, by mentioning, in a parenthesis, that the speech