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derstand that you have eyes as well as ears. Don't let her put her mouth to your ears on any account. Her habitual whispering encourages that excessive expansion and vigorous movement of the ear which needs correction. Exercise, you must be well aware, promotes the growth and activity of any organ. You want auricular rest. Insist upon repose. Mrs. Muckrake will be much surprised and probably offended; she will say that she cannot commu-nicate with you in any other than in the old familiar way; that, in fact, she is so accustomed to the nice sidling manner of accosting you that she actually does not know any other angle of your facial conformation, and that if she must only look you full in the face she hardly thinks she shall know you. Be very firm. Miss Matilda, be very firm, too; all of you Midases, young and old, male and female, mark what we say,-be very firm. In a generation or two, there will be a remarkable change in the length and breadth and irritable sensitiveness of the Midas' ears. That's our modus operandi. It requires time, but it will be eventually successful. So much for the organ itself.

Now, the next step in the cure is to break with your old connexions the Scavengers and Muckrakes. You are again alarmed. Yes, we know these are your oldest and almost only family acquaintances. Be it so. You must, however, break with them. Cut them boldly and forthwith. Have nothing more to do with them. And we'll tell you how to do it. At their next visit (whether it be a Scavenger or a Muckrake) keep her in front, oblige her to look right directly into your eyes, tie your cap-strings tightly over your ears—you will hear very well all that she has to say,-and it will be a precaution, lest from long habit you get too much interested in the communication, and, when off your guard, feel yourself suddenly taken by the ears again. Hear her out, for that is common politeness and you do not wish to be rude. And when she has done and is chuckling over this last little heap of her scrapings, look serious and give a doubtful shake or two of the head, and fumble in your pocket for your vinaigrette, and hint about improbabilities and possible misapprehensions. Your visitor will get warm and emphatic; don't relax your seriousness, and keep up the dubious shake of

the head; she will wax warmer and warmer, and spurt out something about your bad manners in calling in question a lady's word. This will give you courage. Now speak out bravely like a true British subject, and ask for proofs irrefragable proofs; tell her that since she last honoured you with a call you have been reading Lord Erskine's speech to an English jury on the laws of evidence, and get our text by heart, Mrs. Midas, and repeat it to her. Let her know that you are quite a convert to Lord Erskine's doctrine, and that in future you will never believe anything on mere hearsay, that you always intend to demand. evidence, because evidence is a fundamental principle of the British Constitution. The Muckrakes and Scavengers always turn their backs to evidence, they have an instinctive prejudice against proofs. They will call again, for they wont like to lose you, Mrs. Midas. Stick to evidence, Mrs. Midas. Your proofs, Mrs. Muckrake, your proofs, if you please, I can't believe without proofs; the British Constitution says that faith does not come from hearing, but from proofs. This is the language you are to hold. You will be very

aggravating to the Muckrakes and Scavengers, but then, you know it is educational, and you will become half a barrister,-think of that, Mrs. Midas, half a barrister and a whole sensible, right-minded, honourable woman. What a transformation! A whole woman and half an advocate,-half a Lord Erskine ! That is better than being a mollusc, eh! Mrs. Midas. Molluscs have no backbone, no skeleton-they are all pulpy, soft, impressible creatures. Of all animals molluscs

(At this moment we awoke, and found we were lying on a feather bed. We always sleep on a horsehair mattress, which for some domestic convenience had been removed. We suppose that the disagreeable softness of the feather bed had suggested our fanciful dream about molluscs.)

SERMON IV.

REFRACTED RAYS.

"Black spirits and white,
Red spirits and grey;
Mingle, mingle, mingle,-
You that mingle may.”

Macbeth.

We were quite aware of your susceptibilities, motley brethren of every colour, black, white, red, and grey,-ye refracted rays of the great orb of religious truth-and that is why we issued our invitation to you in such carefully chosen words, that you might not for one moment suppose that, although an Arch-bishop, we claim any ecclesiastical authority over you.

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