An Elder Brother S a creature borne to the best advantage of things without him; that hath the start at the beginning, but loiters it away before the ending. He lookes like his land, as heavily and durtily, as stubbornly. He dares do any thing but fight; and feares nothing but his fathers life, and minority. The first thing he makes known, is his estate; and the load-stone that drawes him is the upper end of the table. He wooeth by a particular, and his strongest argument is the jointure. His observation is all about the fashion, and hee commends partlets for a rare device. He speakes no language, but smels of dogs, or hawks; and his ambition flies justice-height. He loves to be commended; and he will goe into the kitchin, but heele have it. He loves glorie; but is so lazy, as he is content with flattery. He speakes most of the precedency of age, and protests fortune the greatest vertue. He summoneth the old servants, and tels what strange acts he will doe when he raignes. He verily beleeves house-keepers the best commonwealths men; and therefore studies baking, brewing, greasing, and such as the limbes of goodnesse. He judgeth it no small signe of wisdome to talke much; his tongue therefore goes continually his errand, but never speeds. If his understanding were not honester then his will, no man should keepe good conceit by him; for hee thinkes it no theft, to sell all he can to opinion. His pedegree and his fathers seale-ring, are the stilts of his crazed disposition. He had rather keepe company with the dregs of men, then not to be the best man. His insinuation is the inviting of men to his house; and he thinks it a great modesty to comprehend his cheere under a peece of mutton and a rabbet; if he by this time bee not knowne, he will goe home againe: for he can no more abide to have himselfe concealed, then his land; yet he is (as you see) good for nothing, except to make a stallion to maintaine the race. A Braggadochio Welshman S the oyster that the pearle is in, for a man may be pickt out of him. He hath the abilities of the mind in potentia, and actu nothing but boldnesse. His clothes are in fashion before his body: and hee accounts boldnesse the chiefest vertue; above all men hee loves an herrald, and speaks pedegrees naturally. He accounts none well descended, that call him not cousin ; and preferres Owen Glendower before any of the nine worthies. The first note of his familiarity is the confession of his valour; and so he prevents quarels. He voucheth Welch, a pure and unconquered language, and courts ladies with the story of their chronicle. To conclude, he is precious in his owne conceit, and upon S. Davies day without comparison. A Pedant. EE treades in a rule, and one hand scannes verses, and the other holds his scepter. Hee dares not thinke a thought, that the nominative case governs not the verbe; and he never had meaning in his life, for he travelled only for words. His ambition is criticisme, and his example Tully. Hee values phrases, and elects them by the sound, and the eight parts of speech are his servants. To bee briefe, he is a heteroclite, for hee wants the plurall number, having onely the single quality of words. A Serving-man S a creature, which though he be not drunk, yet is not his owne man. He tels without asking who ownes him, by the superscription of his livery. His life is for ease and leasure, much about gentleman-like. His wealth enough to suffice nature, and sufficient to make him happy, if he were sure of it; for he hath little, and wants nothing, he values himselfe higher or lower, as his master is. Hee hates or loves the men, as his master doth the master. He is commonly proud of his masters horses, or his Christmas: hee sleepes when he is sleepy, is of his religion, only the clocke of his stomack is set to go an houre after his. He seldome breakes his own clothes. He never drinks but double, for he must be pledg'd; nor commonly without some short sentence nothing to the purpose: and seldome abstaines till he comes to a thirst. His discretion is to bee carefull for his masters credit, and his sufficiency to marshall dishes at a table, and to carve well. His neatnesse consists much in his haire and outward linnen. His courting language, visible bawdy jests; and against his matter faile, he is alway ready furnished with a song. His inheritance is the chamber-maid, but often purchaseth his masters daughter, by reason of opportunity, or for want of a better; he alwayes cuckolds himselfe, and never maries but his owne widdow. His master being appeased, he becomes a retainer, and entailes himselfe and his posterity upon his heire-males for ever. An Host S the kernell of a signe: or the signe is the shell, and mine host is the snaile. He consists of double beere and fellow ship, and his vices are the bawds of his thirst. He entertaines humbly, and gives his guests power, as well of himselfe as house. He answers all mens expectations to his power, save in the reckoning: and hath gotten the tricke of greatnesse, to lay all mislikes upon his servants. His wife is the cummin seed of his dove-house; and to be a good guest is a warrant for her liberty. Hee traffiques for guests by mens friends, friends friends, and is sensible onely of his purse. In a word, hee is none of his owne: for he neither eats, drinks, or thinks, but at other mens charges and appointments. An Ostler Sa thing that scrubbeth unreasonably his horse, reasonably himselfe. He consists of travellers, though he be none himselfe. His highest ambition is to be host, and the invention of his signe is his greatest wit: for the expressing whereof hee sends away the painters for want of |