A Whoore

Sa high-way to the Divell, hee that lookes upon her with desire, begins his voyage:

hee that staies to talke with her, mends his

pace, and he who enjoyes her, is at his journies end: her body is the tilted lees of pleasure, dasht over with a little decking to hold colour; tast her, she's dead, and falls upon the pallate; the sins of other women shew in landscip, far off and full of shadow, hers in statue, neere hand, and bigger in the life: she prickes betimes, for her stocke is a white thorne, which cut and grafted on, shee growes a medler: her trade is opposite to any other, for shee sets up without credit, and too much custome breakes her; the money that she gets is like a traitors, given only to corrupt her; and what shee gets, serves but to pay diseases. She is ever moor'd in sinne, and ever mending; and after thirty, she is the chirurgions creature: shame and repentance are two strangers to her, and only in an hospitall acquainted. She lives a reprobate, like Cain, still branded, finding no habitation but her feares, and flies the face of justice like a felon. The first yeere of her trade she is an eyesse, scratches and cryes to draw on more affection: the second a soare: the third a ramage whoore: the fourth and fift, she's an intermewer, preies for her

selfe, and ruffles all she reaches; from thence to ten she bears the name of white whoore, and then her bloud forsakes her with salt rheumes, and now she has mewed three coats; now shee

growes weary and diseas'd together, favours her wing, checks little, but lies for it, bathes for her health, and scowres to keepe her coole, yet still she takes in stones, shee fires her selfe else: the next remove is haggard, still more cunning; and if my art deceive me not, more crazie. All cares and cures are doubled now upon her, and line her perch, or now she mewes her pounces, at all these yeares she flies at fooles and kils too the next is bussard bawd, and there I leave her.

A very Whore

S a woman.

Shee enquires out all the

great meetings, which are medicines for her itching. Shee kisseth open-mouth'd, and spits in the palmes of her hands to make them moist. Her eyes are like free-booters, living upon the spoile of stragglers; and shee baits her desires with a million of prostitute countenances and enticements; in the light she listneth to parlies: but in the darke shee understandeth signes best. Shee will sell her smocke for cuffes, and so her shooes be fine, shee cares not though her stockings want feet.

Her modesty is curiositie, and her smell is one of her best ornaments. Shee passeth not a span bredth. And to have done, she is the cook and the meat, dressing her selfe all day, to be tasted with the better appetite at night.

A meere Common Lawyer

and hath his

of the court.

S the best shadow to make a discreet one shew the fairer. Hee is a materia prima informed by reports, actuated by statutes, motion by the favorable intelligence His law is alwayes furnisht with a commission to arraigne his conscience: but upon judgement given, he usually sets it at large. Hee thinks no language worth knowing but his Barragouin. Onely for that point he hath beene a long time at warres with Priscian for a northerne province. He imagines that by super excellency his profession onely is learning, and that it's a prophanation of the temple to his Themis dedicated, if any of the liberall arts be there admitted to offer strange incense to her. For indeed he is all for mony. Seven or eight yeares squires him out, some of his nation lesse standing and ever since the night of his call, he forgot much what he was at dinner. The next morning his man (in actua or potentia) injoyes his

pickadels. His landresse is then shrewdly troubled in fitting him a ruffe; his perpetuall badge. His love-letters of the last yeare of his gentlemanship are stuft with discontinuances, remitters, and uncore prists but now being enabled to speake in proper person, hee talkes of a French-hood, in stead of a joynture, wages his law, and joynes issue. Then he begins to sticke his letters in his ground chamber-window; that so the superscription may make his squire-ship transparent. His herauldry gives him place before the minister, because the law was before the gospell. Next tearme he walkes his hoopsleeve gowne to the hall; there it proclaimes. him. He feeds fat in the reading, and till it chances to his turne, dislikes no house order so much, as that the month is so contracted to a fortnight. 'Mongst his countrey neighbours, he arrogates as much honour for being reader of an Inne of Chancery, as if it had beene of his own house. For they, poore soules, take law and conscience, Court and Chancery for all one. He learn'd to frame his cases from putting riddles, and imitating Merlins prophecies, and to set all the crosse-row together by the eares. Yet his whole law is not able to decide Lucans one old controversie 'twixt Tau and Sigma. He accounts no man of his cap and coat idle, but who trots not the circuit. Hee affects no life or quality for it selfe, but for gaine; and that at least, to the stating him

in a justice of peace-ship, which is the first quickning soule superadded to the elementary and inanimate forme of his new title. His tearmes are his wives vacations. Yet she then may usurpe divers courtdaies, and hath her returnes in mensem, for writs of entry often shorter. His vacations are her termers. But in assise time (the circuit being long) he may have a tryall at home against him by nisi prius. No way to heaven he thinkes, so wise, as through Westminster Hall; and his clarkes commonly through it visit both heaven and hell. Yet then hee oft forgets his journeyes end, although hee looke on the StarreChamber. Neither is he wholly destitute of the

arts. Grammar hee hath enough to make termination of those words which his authority hath endenizon'd. Rhetoricke some; but so little, that its thought a concealement. Logicke enough to wrangle. Arithmeticke enough for the ordinals of his yeare books: and number-roles: but he goes not to multiplication; there's a statute against it. So much geometrie, that he can advise in a perambulatione facienda, or a rationalibus divisis. In astronomy and astrology he is so far seene, that by the Dominicall letter, he knowes the holy dayes, and finds by calculation that Michaelmas terme will be long and dirty. Marry hee knowes so much in musicke, that he affects only the most and cunningest discords; rarely a perfect concord, especially song, except in fine. His skill