Father Pimples lying on his stomach across the pulpit ledge (he was preaching at the time from the scripture,

Now there are diversities of gifts '), in order, I suppose, to impress the more forcibly upon his congregation the truthfulness of the assertion contained in his text. Having apparently nothing original to say, they aim at saying old things in a new style: hence, perhaps, the amazing variety of gesticulation and grimace made use of by the leading members of this school. Hence also the abundance of curious epithets by which they see fit to address their hearers, as 'Dear Hearts,' It 'Hearts alive,' 'Young Sirs,' and the like. should, perhaps, be remarked that these preachers are no niggards in regard to their time: they give it freely usually prolonging their disjointed series of exclamations to some forty or fifty minutes. The brains of such as attempt to forge a link to the strange and chaotic sounds that fall from these persons become confused, as though they listened to the incessant clashing of cymbals. The minds of some who listen are perverse enough to revolt at a wordy display, which, but for the solemn subject to which it relates, might be characterised as drivelling nonsense. Those who have no brains to confuse are delighted at the fervour and earnestness of the gentleman; and the preacher is probably satisfied-which is something: but ought not perhaps to be his sole object in preaching.

But very different in style from our friend Foxey is the Reverend Mr. Toby Jones, who often assists at St. Martingale's when the vicar is absent. Mr. Jones has not had, as we say, the advantage of an University education, and consequently was not prepared for the ministry by that queer process of spending three or four years in every species of youthful folly-to use the most mild expression-which the accumulated ingenuity of several hundred school-boys turned loose can devise. He was ordained deacon by the Lord Bishop of Soda and Brandy. Now his great forte in preaching is a critical knowledge of Greek, which he acquired in stumbling through the four gospels and a couple of epistles for my lord bishop's examination. Having given out his text from the authorised version of the Scriptures, he at once announces to his hearers that the passage, as he has just read it to them, is not correctly translated, and he then proceeds to give his own improved rendering. The remainder of his sermon is probably not more silly than it would have been had he accepted the passage as it stood in his Bible. But must not every man who wishes for success ride his hobby-horse through the crowd? Alas! Toby, I have looked in vain for your name in the reverend list of those who are now engaged at the Jerusalem Chamber in preparing our new Bible. Did you think that business too bold and risky, and so decline a proffered place at that tremendous council?

Is it not, however, manifestly unfair to throw the whole blame on the tiresome talkers who are (often against their will) fated to annoy us? Surely the larger portion of the fault lies in the system which assumes that the fact of a man's being ordained constitutes him an efficient preacher! Do we Protestants, who believe so little in the miraculous, do we pretend to think that the imposition of hands by the bishop can transform an awkward, hesitating, stammering speaker into an orator qualified to address his fellowcreatures on the most awful and important questions, or to lay before them (which, however, is rarely enough attempted) plain, distinct, and practical rules for their daily living?

Shall we never recognise that fact—which St. Paul, at any rate, regarded as a true one-that there are diversities of gifts; and that some, not all, possess the gift of preaching?

Do we read of all the holy apostles themselves as preachers? Was not one among the seven deacons surnamed Barnabas, a name which would seem to imply his peculiar office?

Until Protestantism was invented, in the year of grace 1532, or even till many years after, did the Christian Church, or any branch thereof, ever exact from every deacon and priest the duty of preaching? Why, in a word, are we to have for our preachers a body of men for the most part utterly incapable of doing

their work-many of them being so driven to extremities that they must borrow the sermons of others, or purchase them at so much per dozen?

In what other profession would such gross and palpable incapacity be allowed, countenanced, aye, actually paid for?

Are not many of these pseudo-preachers painfully conscious of their hopeless deficiency in the particular business of preaching, though they may know themselves to be fitted for many other duties of a priestly nature ?

Do the English people at large desire the ceaseless parade of windy verbiage now unmercifully thrust upon them?.

Think you, my Lord Bishops, that there would be no more worshippers in our churches, if men might go there, as they may to any Catholic church on the Continent, to worship, and not to listen?

Or is it that Protestantism as a system has nothing to offer to her children when they do go to churchbut sermons ?

And if so, should they not at least be wholesome and nutritious?

MARRIAGES.

IF it should ever be my good fortune to obtain a seat in the finest assemblage of gentlemen in the world (which, as the discriminating reader will see, is my original manner of alluding delicately to the British House of Commons), I intend to move for a Royal Commission to enquire generally as to the rules and regulations now in force in the English Marriage Market, and their effect upon the morals of the country; and further, as to the increase or decrease (as the case may be) in the number of marriages solemnized in proportion to the increase of the population.

I expect my motion to be carried unanimously and by acclamation. And in this age of Royal Commissions I think that I am justified in doing so. When I remember that last session Captain Pot Boiler moved for a commission to enquire as to the relative number of peppermint lozenges sold by chemists in the Strand and by chemists in Holborn, being parallel lines (as the honourable and gallant member explained amidst considerable cheering), and that his motion was carried without a division after fifteen honourable and right honourable members had ad