SCENE I.-Windsor. Before Page's House. Enter Justice SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Sir HUGH EVANS. Shal. SIR HUGH, persuade me not; I will make a Star-chainber matter of it; if he were twenty Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot there is no fear of Got in a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizainents in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shal-end it: and there is also another device in my prain, low, esquire. Sten. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram. Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and Cust-alorum. Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armi gero. Shal. Ay, that we do: and have done any time these three hundred years. Sten. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Era. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies - love. Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. S'en. I may quarter, coz? Shil. You may, by marrying. En. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. Eva. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself. in my simple conjectures: but this is all one: if Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my Senevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you. Shal. The Council shall hear it; it is a riot. it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with master George Page, which is pretty virginity. and speaks small like a woman. Sten. Mistress Anne Page! She has brown hair, just as you will desire: and seven hundred pounds Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's bed (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page, our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pounds? Eva. Ay,and her father is make her a petter penny Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Era. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is good gifts. Shut. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Falstaff there? Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers I will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. What, hoa! pless your house here! Enter PAGE. Page. Who's there? 4 Advisement. and justice Shallow: and here young master Slender; that peradventures shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow. Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; Much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill-killed:- How doth good mistress Page- and I love you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun at Cotsale. Page. It could not be judged, sir. Sten. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. That he will not;-tis your fault, 'tis your fault: - 'Tis a good dog. Page. A cur, sir. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: Can there be more said? he is good, and fair.- Is sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Era. It is spoke as a Christian ought to speak. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page. Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me; indeed, he hath;-at a word, he hath ;-- believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes sir John. Enter Sir JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYм, and PISTOL. Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter. this: That is now answer'd. Shal. The council shall know this. Ful. 'Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel: you'll be laugh'd at. Eva. Pauca verba, sir John, good worts. Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.- Slender, I broke your head; What matter have you against me? Sten. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket. Bur. You Banbury cheese!• Pist. How, now, Mephostophilus ? Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Num. Slice, I say, pauca, pauca; slice! that's ny humor. Slen. Where's Simple, my man? —can you tell, cousin? Era. Peace: I pray you! Now let us understand: There is three umpires in this matter as I under stand: that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, filelicet myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a brief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol, Pist. He hears with ears. Era. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never coine in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost ine two shillings and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Cotswold in Gloucestershire. Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind. • Sharpers. Nothing but paring! The name of an ugly spirit. King Edward's shilling used in the game of shuffleboard Fal. Is this true. Pistol? Era. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. I combat challenge of this latten bilbo : Num. Be advised, sir, and pass good humors: I will say, marry trap, with you if you run the nuthook's humor on me; that is the very note of it. Sen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bar. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Era. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bar. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too: but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Era. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. Enter Mistress ANNE PAGE with wine; Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit ANNE PAGE. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? well met: by your leave, good mistress. Kissing her. Ful. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome:Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness. [Exeunt all but SHAL.. SLENDER, and EVANS Sten. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book of Songs and Sonnets here: Enter SIMPLE. How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?1 Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry, this, coz; There is, as 'twere a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off -Do you understand me? by sir Hugh here; Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Sten. So I do, sir. Era. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capa I city of it. Sten. Nay I will do as my cousin Shallow says: pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here. is concerning your marriage. Era. But this is not the question; the question Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Era. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands. command to know that of your mouth, or of your Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is parcel of the mouth; Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir.-I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason. Era. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? Sten. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you Love the maid?" Era. Nay, it is petter yet:· -give her this let. ter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to de sire and to require her to solicit your master's de sires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you begone. I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come. [Exeuni. Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt; but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, dissolutely. Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely; his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la. Re-enter ANNE PAGE. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:- Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Era. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt SHALLOW and Sir H. EVANS. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir! Sten. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit SIMPLE.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man:- I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come. Slen. I faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneyss for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town! Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man in England:- You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson loose, twenty times: and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'd-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are ill-favored, rough things. Re-enter PAGE. SCENE III-A Room in the Garter Inn. and ROBIN. Fal. Mine host of the Garter, Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak schol. arly, and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag: trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou art an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and line: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster; Go, adieu. Bar. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit BARD. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Num. He was gotten in drink: is not the humor conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humor of it. Fal. I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humor is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal! foh, a fico for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards and more. Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Brietly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her beha Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we vior, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir; come, come. Sten. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Page. Come on, sir. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Sten. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la; I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, sir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt. SCENE II- The same. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, South- Falstaff's. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Num. The anchor is deep: will that humor pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, bou, say I. Num. The humor rises; it is good: humor me the angels. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too; examin'd my parts with most judicious evliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot. sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine. Fig. |