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they happen once to have deviated from their usual practice; to the sullen, because they sometimes laugh; to the stingy, because they now and then squeeze out from their purses an extravagant shilling; to the bully, because he for once in a way bullies those who deserve it. I think, however, it may with great justice be applied to whoever is strongly attached to his own pursuits, but never abuses those of others. In this opinion I am the more decided, from my willingness to allow this title to many, who are deficient in most of the above-mentioned qualifications. In short, I am very ready to extend the appellation to every one who has a kind heart; to every one who "lives as he ought to do;" to every one who sweetens his last glass of port by drinking " Prosperity to Eton, happiness to his schoolfellows, and long life to The Etonian.""

6

T. N.

LOVERS' VOWS.

"What grace hast thou, thus to reprove
SHAKSPEARE.

These worms for loving?"

WE were engaged the other day in making some purchases at Flint's, when Lady Honoria Saville entered, attended by the Hon. George Comyn. As the Lady is a professed Coquette, and the gentleman a professed Dangler, we conceived it by no means improper to play the listener; for the conversation of these characters is seldom such as to require much secresy. We therefore placed ourselves in a convenient situation for hearing whatever was said by the Beau, the Belle, and the Milliner, which last I consider the most rational person of

the three. The questions which were put to her by her Ladyship escaped us; they seemed to be conveyed, not in the language of common mortals, but in signs which were to us incomprehensible. Without exposing ourselves to the notice of either party, we were beyond measure amused at the timely aid, which the Milliner's descriptions of her wares afforded to the Lover's description of his passion; for whenever the latter was at a loss for words, the former stepped in to finish his sentence, and occasionally gave a point to it, in which Lovers' Vows are generally deficient.

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When they first made their appearance, the gentleman was deposing upon oath to the truth of something of which his companion seemed to entertain doubts. He had run through some of the usual forms of adjuration, such as Sun, Moon, Stars, Venus, and Blue Eyes, when he was stopped by "Lovers' vows! Comyn! lovers' vows! where do they come from ?" "Where?" repeated the Gentleman, in a theatrical attitude; "they come from a sincere affection, from a passionate heart, from a devoted adoration, from "From Paris, I assure you, Madam," said the Milliner, who was turning over some silks. "But I wonder, Comyn!" resumed her Ladyship, "I wonder you can continue to bore me with this nonsense! Lovers' Vows have given me the vapours these last five years, and after all, what are they worth?" "Worth!" reiterated the Fop," they are worth the mines of Peru, the diamonds of Golconda, the sands of Pactolus !"-" They are worth five shillings a pair, Madam," said the Milliner, "and it's really throwing them away.”- -She was talking of some kid gloves.

"You gentlemen," said her Ladyship, "must think us very weak creatures, if you fancy that we are to be imposed upon by any folly you choose to utter; Lovers" Vows have been proverbial since the days of Queen Bess, and it would be strange if, in 1820, we should not have found out what they are made of.” "In my case,

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said the Exquisite, "your Ladyship is cruel in supposing them to be made of any thing but the purest sincerity." "They are made of the finest materials," said the Milliner," and your Ladyship can see through them like glass."-She was holding up to the window some stuff with a hard name, which we know nothing about.Say what you will, Comyn," said her Ladyship,

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"Men were deceivers ever;

One foot on land, and one on sea,

To one thing constant never."

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"Lovers' Vows are never intended to last beyond a day!"-"Your Ladyship is unjust!" replied the Dandy, they will last when all other ties shall be broken; they will last when the bond of relationship shall be cancelled, and the link of friendship riven !—they will last" They will last for ever, Madam, and wash afterwards!" said the Milliner. She was speaking of some scarfs.

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"Really, George," observed her Ladyship, would think me an egregious fool, if I were to believe one quarter of what you say to me. Speak the truth, George, for once, if it is in your nature--should I not be folle-folle beyond measure ?""You love to trifle with

my passion," sighed the Honourable; but this is what we must all expect! Fascinating as you are, you feel not for the woes of your victims: :--you are more insensible than flints-nothing is dear to you."-" Flint's will make nothing dear to your Ladyship," said the Milliner, wrapping up the parcel.

"In this age of invention," said Lady Honoria, "it is surprising to me that no one has invented a thermometer to try the temperature of Lovers' Vows. What a price would a boarding-school Miss give for such an invention! I certainly will make the suggestion to young Montgomery, that writes the sonnets!" Good God!" cried the worshipper, "where shall I send for such a

test of sincerity? I would send to the suns of India, to the snows of Tobolsk; I would send to the little-toed ladies of China, and the great-hatted chieftains of LooChoo; I would send"- "Shall I send it to your Ladyship's house ?" said the Milliner, holding up the parcel.

"Well," said her Ladyship, rising to leave the shop, "I shall contend no more with so subtle a disputant; my opinion of Lovers' Vows remains unchanged, and I desire you won't pester me with them at the Opera this evening, or I shall positively die of ennui." We saw that this was meant as an assignation, and the Honourable George Comyn saw things in the same light. "How," he cried, "how shall I thank your Ladyship for this condescension? How shall I express the feelings the heart you have rescued from despair? Language is too poor, utterance is too weak, for the emotion which I feel; what can I say ?" "Much obliged to your Ladyship," said the Milliner.

P. C.

of

GODIVA, -A TALE.

I.

WHOE'ER has been at Coventry must know
(Unless he's quite devoid of curiosity,)
That once a year it has a sort of show,
Conducted with much splendor and pomposity.

I'll just describe it, if I can-but no,

It would exhaust the humour of a Fawcett, I
Am a vile jester-though I once was vain
Of acting Fawcett's parts at Datchet-lane.

II.

Ah! those were pleasant days, when you and I,
Dear Fred. Golightly, trod those boards of yore;
I often grieve to think that they 're past by,
As you must-on a rainy after-four :

Though, now it's fairly quash'd, you won't deny
That that same stage was frequently a bore;
It spoilt our cricket, which we 're all so proud on,
Nor let us beat the Kingsmen-as we 've now done.

III.

Oh! sweet is praise to youthful poet's ear,
When gently warbled by the lips he loves:
'Tis sweet one's exercise read o'er to hear,
(Especially the week before Removes);
But sweeter far, when actors first appear,
The loud collision of applauding gloves,
The gleam of happy faces o'er them cast-
Moments of triumph not to be surpass'd!

IV.

Oh! stolen joys, far sweeter for the stealing,
Oh! doubts, and fears, and hopes of Eton all,
Ye are departed; but a lingering feeling

Of your enchantments holds my heart in thrall. My eyes just now are fixed upon the ceiling

I feel my cheek flush-hear my inkstand fall; My soul is wandering through the distant groves Of that dear schoolboy-dwelling which it loves.

V.

But to my tale-I'm somewhat given to prating,
I can't but own it, but my theme was fine,
And all the feelings which I've been narrating
Are worth enjoying-and they've all been mine!

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