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walk George took directly to Sion, where having the advantage of a pair of oars at hand, made this journey for London. His two associates behind had the plot in their heads by George's instruction for their escape; for they knew he was gone. My hostess she was in the market, buying of provision for supper; mine host he was at tables; and my two masterless men desired the maids to excuse them if their master came, for, quoth they, we will go drink two pots with my smug smith's wife at old Brainford. I warrant you, quoth the maids. So away went my men to the smith's at old Brainford, from thence to London; where they all met, and sold the horse and the mare, the gown and the lute, which money was as badly spent, as it was lewdly got. How my host and my hostess looked when they saw the event of this, go but to the Three Pigeons at Brainford, you shall know.
THE JEST OF GEORGE AND THE BARBER.”
GeoRGE was not so merry at London with his capons and claret, as poor Anthony the barber was sorrow
* George Pyeboard escapes from the sheriff's officers by a like stratagem. When they arrest him at the suit of his hostess for “four pound, five shillings, and five pence,” he says, “if you had not crossed me, I was going in great joy to receive five pound of a gentleman, for the device of a masque here, drawn in this paper,” and they consent to accompany him to the gentleman's house, on condition of their receiving what remains of the five
thy cloak and thy hat, and do thou put on my green jerkin, and I'll go with thee directly along. The barberloath to leave him until he had his lute, yielded to the change. So when they came to the gentleman's porch, he put on George's green jerkin, and a his Spanish hat, and he the barber's cloak and his hat. Either of them being thus fitted, George knocks 4 at the door: to whom the porter bids heartily wel-4. come, for George was well known, who at that time had all the oversight of the pageants.” He desires” the porter to bid his friend welcome; for he is a good fellow and a keeper, Master Porter, one that at his pleasure can bestow a haunch of venison on , you... Marry, that can I, quoth the barber. I thanko you, sir, answered the porter: Master Peele, my master is in the hall; pleaseth it you to walk in 2 With all my heart, quoth George; in the mean time let my friend bear you company. That he shall, Master Peele, quoth the porter; and if it please him he shall take a simple dinner with me. The barber gives him hearty thanks, not misdoubting Master Peele any way, seeing him known: and him. A self so welcome, fell in chat with the porter. George wo Peele goes directly to the alderman, who now is come into the court, in the eye of the barber, where George after many complaints, draws a blankt paper out of his bosom, and making action to the barber, reads &
board, “and especially for a masque.”—Puritan. Act. 3, sc. 5." t blank] Old copy “black.” -- 1: ... o. of V () L. II. T
to the alderman, as followeth. I humbly desire your worship to stand my friend in a slight matter. Yonder hard-favoured knave, that sits by your worship's porter, hath dogged me to arrest me, and I had no
- other means but to take your worship's house for shelter. The occasion is but trivial, only for steal
ing of a piece of flesh, myself consorted with three or four gentlemen of good fashion, that would not willingly have our names come in question. Therefore this is my boon; that your worship would let one of your servants let me out at the garden door, and I shall think myself much indebted to your worship." The kind gentleman, little dreaming of George Peele's deceit, took him into the parlour, gave him a brace of angels, and caused one of his servants to let George out at the garden door, which was no sooner opened, but George made way for the barber seeing him any more, and all the way he went could not choose but laugh at his knavish conceit, how he had gulled the simple barber, who sat all this while with the porter blowing of his nails; to whom came this fellow that let out George. You whoreson keeperly rascal, quoth the fellow, do you come to arrest any honest gentleman in my master's house? Not I, so God help me, quoth the barber; I pray,
* George Pyeboard in the parallel scene of the Puritan, already mentioned, uses nearly the same words: “May it please your good worship then, but to uphold my device, which is to let one of your men put me out at a back door, and I shall be bound to your worship for ever.”
sir, where is the gentleman, Master Peele, that came along with me? Far enough, quoth the fellow, for your coming near him; he is gone out at the garden door. Garden door! quoth the barber; why, have you any more doors than one 7 We have, sir, and get you hence, or I'll set you going, goodman keeper. Alas, quoth the barber, sir, I am no keeper, I am quite undone ! I am a barber dwelling at Brainford: and with weeping tears up and told him how George had used him. The servant goes in, and tells his master; which when he heard, he could not but laugh at the first; yet in pity of the poor barber, he gave him twenty shillings towards his loss. The barber sighing took it, and towards Brainford home he goes; and whereas he came from thence in a new cloak and a fair hat, he went home weeping in an old hat, and a green jerkin.
HOW GEORGE PEELE BECAME A PHYSICIAN.
GeoRGE on a time being happily furnished both of horse and money; though the horse he hired, and the money he borrowed; but no matter how he was possessed of them; and towards Oxford he rides to make merry with his friends and fellow students; and in his way he took up Wickham, where he sojourned that night. Being at supper, accompanied with his hostess, among other table-talk, they fell into discourse of chirurgery, of which my hostess
was a simple professor. George Peele, observing the humour of my she-chirurgeon, upheld her in all the strange cures she talked of, and praised her womanly endeavour; telling her, he loved her so much the better, because it was a thing that he professed, both physic and chirurgery: and George had a dictionary of physical words, that it might set a better gloss upon that which he seemingly professed; and told his good hostess at his return he would teach her something that should do her ho hurt i. for (quoth he) at this instant I am going about a great cure, as far as Warwickshire, to a gentleman of great living, and one that hath been in a consumption this half year, and I hope to do him good. O God, (quoth the hostess) there is a gentleman not a quarter of a mile off, that hath been a long time sick of the same disease. Believe me, sir, quoth the hostess, would it please your worship ere your departure in the morning, but to visit the gentleman, and but spend your opinion of him, and I make no question but the gentlewoman will be very thankful to you. I faith, (quoth George) happily at my return I may; but at this time my haste is such that I cannot; and so good night, mine hostess." Sö away went George to bed; and my giddy hostess, right of the nature of most women, thought that night as long as ten, till she was delivered ofthat burthen of news which she had received from my new doctor, for so he termed himself. Morning being come, at break of the day mine hostess trudges to this gentle