Before Page's house in Windsor. Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, andSir Hugh Evans. make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty sir John Falstaff's, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, and coram. Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and 4 custalorum. Slen. Ay, and ratalorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero. I. Shal. Ay, that I do: and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, 5 may: they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Shal. It is an old coat. Eva. The dozen white louses do become an Slen. I may quarter, coz. 15 Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it. 1 Queen Elizabeth was so well pleased with the admirable character of Falstaff in the Two Parts of Henry IV. that, as Mr. Rowe informs us, she commanded Shakspeare to continue it for one play more, and to shew him in love. To this command we owe The Merry Wives of Windsor: which, Mr. Gildon says, he was very well assured our author finished in a fortnight. This is the first of sundry instances in our poet, where a parson is called sir; upon which it may be observed, that anciently it was the common designation both of one in holy orders and a knight. The Star-chamber had a right to take cognizance of routs and riots. Probably intended for a corruption of Custos Rotulorum. The luce is a pike or jack. This passage is also supposed to point at Sir Thomas Lucy, who was the cause of Shakspeare's leaving Stratford. 4 3 Shal Shal. Not a whit. tale, if matters grow to your likings. Eva. Yes, py'r-lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one: if sir John Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow. Shal. Master Page, Iam glad to see you: Much son better; it was ill kill'd:-How doth good mistress Page?-and I thank you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, 5 good do it your good heart! I wish'd your veni I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you. Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot. Page. Sir, I thank you. Eva. It is not meet the council hear of a riot; 10 Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot take your vizaments in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. Era. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings good discretions with it: There is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page? she has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was out-run on Cotsale2. Page. It could not be judg'd, sir. 15 Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; 20 can there be more said? he is good, and fair.-Is sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Eva. It is that very person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds Eva. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak. of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, 25 Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page. upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful resur rections!) give, when she is able to overtake seven teen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me;-indeed, he hath;-at a word, he hath;-believe me; between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page. 30 - Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Slen. I know the young gentlewoman; she has 35 Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is good gifts. Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is Falstaff there? my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter? 40 this:-That is now answer'd. Shal. The council shall know this. Fal. "Twere better for you, if'twere known in counsel; you'll be laughed at. Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will peat the door [Knocks] for master Page. 45 Fal. Good worts 4! good cabbage:-Slender, I Ета. Раиса verba, sir John; good worts. broke your head; What matterhave you against me? Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow: and here is young master 50 Bar. You Banbury cheese! Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Advisement is now an obsolete word. 2 He means Cotswold, in Gloucestershire; where in the beginning of the reign of James the First, by permission of the king, Dover, a public-spirited attorney of Barton on the Heath, in Warwickshire, instituted on the hills of Cotswold an annual celebration of games, consisting of rural sports and exercises. These he constantly conducted in person, well mounted, and accoutred in a suit of his majesty's old cloaths; and they were frequented above forty years by the nobility and gentry for sixty miles round, till the grand rebellion abolished every liberal establishment. The games were, chiefly, wrestling, leaping, pitching the bar, handling the pike, dancing of women, various kinds of hunting, and particularly coursing the hare with greyhounds. Falstaff here probably quibbles between council and counsel; the latter signifies secrecy; and his meaning seems to be, 'Twere better for you if it were known only in secrecy, i. e. among your friends. 4 Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind. * A concy-catcher was, in the time of Elizabeth, a common name for a cheat or sharper. This alludes to the thin carcase of Slender. Pist. How now, Mephostophilus1? but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Slen. Where's Simple, my man? can you tell, 5 Fal. You hear all these matters deny'd, gentle Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour. cousin? men; you hear it. Enter mistress Anne Page with wine; mistress Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us understand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; 10 drink within. and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. We three to hear it, and end it between them. Ετα. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in 15 my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol, Pist. He hears with ears. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is 20 this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome:-Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope, we shall drink down ali unkindness. [Exe. all but Shal. Stend. and Evans. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book of songs and sonnets here: Enter Simple. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else) of seven groats in mill-sixpences 2, 25 wait on myself, must I? You have not the book and two Edward shovel-boards3; that cost me two shilling and two-pence a-piece of Yead Mill er, by these gloves. Fal. Is this true, Pistol? Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. and master mine, I combat challenge of this latten bilboe*: Nym. Be advis'd, Sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nut-hook's humour'on me; that is the very note of it. How now, Simple? where have you been? I must of riddles about you, have you? Sim. Book of riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas? 30 Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you, 35 it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: 40 pacity of it. Slen. Nay, Iwill do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in This country, simple though I stand here. Eva. But that is not the question; the question 45 is concerning your marriage. Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. Eva. Marry is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page. Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon Bard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, ca- 50 any reasonable demands. shier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires 8. Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll never be drunk whilst I live again, Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips, for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is The name of a spirit or familiar, in the old story-book of Sir John Faustus, or Joan Faust, and in those times a cant phrase of abuse. 2 Mill'dsixpences were used by way of counters to cast up money. 3 These were the broad shillings of Edward VI., and at that time used at the play of shovel-board. • Mr. Theobald is of opinion, that by latten bilboe Pistol, seeing Slender such a slim, puny wight, would intimate, that he is as thin as a plate of that compound metal which is called latten; whilst Mr. Steevens thinks, that latten bilboe means no more than a blade as thin as a lath. That is, hear the word of denial in my lips. Thou ly'st. We often talk of giving the lie in a man's teeth, or in his throat. Pistol chooses to throw the word of denial in the lips of his adversary. • When a man was caught in his own stratagem, the exclamation of insult probably was marry trap! Nuthook was a term of reproach in cant strain; and, if you run the nuthook's humour on me, is in plain English, if you say I am a thief.: A military phrase. parcel parcel of the mouth: Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good-will to the maid? Shal. Cousin Abrahaın Slender, can you love her? your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talk'd of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon Slen. I hope, sir, -I will do as it shall become 5 quarrel at it, as any man in England:-You are one that would do reason. Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her. afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: Ihave seen Sackerson loose, twenty times; and have Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good 10 taken him by the chain: but I warrant you, the dowry, marry her? Sten. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reasoh. Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you 15 Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; love the maid? women have so cry'd and shriek'd at it, that it we stay for you. Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet Page. By cock and pye 4, you shall not choose, heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, sir: come, come. when we are marry'd, and have more occasion to 20 Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will Page. Come on, sir. grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. dissolutely. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly-la; I will Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the 25 not do you that wrong.. Enter Evans and Simple. Era. Go your ways, and ask of Dr. Caius' house, which is the way; and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. 35 his washer, and his wringer. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Ex. Shal. and Evans. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; Iam very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: -Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend 45 for a man:-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though? yet l live like a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come. Šlen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing: I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: 1 SCENE III. bruis'd my shin the other day with playing at sword 55 Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. That is, three different set-to's, bouts, a technical term from the French, venue. a bear. 3 Menning, that it passed all expression. * A popular adjuration of those times. Cock is no more than a corruption of the Sacred Name, as appears from cock's wounds, cock's bones, and cock's mother, and some other exclamations which occur in the old Moralities and Interludes. The pye is a table in the old Roman offices, shewing how to find out the service which is to be read on each day. Fal. Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let m see the froth, and lime; I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good 5 trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd serving-man, a fresh tapster: Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desir'd: I wil. thrive. [Exit Bard. eyes too; examin'd my parts with most judicious Fal. O, she did so course o'er ny exteriors with such a greedy intention", that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the 10 too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited? His inind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Ful. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder-15 box; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. rest. Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's Pist. Convey, the wise it call; Steal! foh; fico for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Fal. There is no remedy; I must cony-catch, I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food 4. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I sir Pandares of Troy become, Sail like my pinnace1 to these golden shores. Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; 30 Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd, And high and low beguiles the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations in my head, which be Fal. No quips now, Pistol: Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I ain about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in 35 humours of revenge. her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar stile; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He hath study'd her will, and translated her will; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Pist. Wilt thou revenge? Nym. By welkin, and her star! Nym. With both the humours, I: 40 I will discuss the humour of this love to Ford. Pist. And I to Page shall eke unfold, How Falstaff, varlet vile, His dove will prove, his gold will hold, her husband's purse; she hath a legion of angels. 45 Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Pist. As many devils entertain'; and, To her, boy, say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. Ford to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien 1 is dangerous: that is my true humour. Pist. Thou art the Mars of malecontents: Ise Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here 50 cond thee; troop on. another to Page's wife who even now gave me good [Exeunt. This alludes to the tricks of frothing beer and liming sack, practised in the time of Shakspeare. The first was done by putting soap into the bottom of the tankard when they drew the beer; the other, by mixing lime with the sack (i. e. sherry) to make it sparkle in the glass. 2 This is a parody on a line taken from one of the old bombast pl plays. 3 Nym means to say, that the perfection of stealing is to do it in the shortest time possible. 4 A proverb. ' In those times the young of both sexes were instructed in carving, as a necessary accomplishment. That is, explained. The old quarto reads: As many devils attend her! * Probably from oeillades, French. • That is, eagerness of desire. 10 By this is meant eschetour, an officer in the Exchequer, in no good repute with the common people. "Perhaps we should read rightly. 12 A pinnace anciently seems to have signified a small vessel or sloop, attending on a larger. At present it signifies only a man of war's boat. 6 1 Fullam is a cant term for false dice, high and low. Gourd was another instrument of gaming. 14 That is, jealousy. 15 Revolt of mien means change of countenance, one of the effects he has just been ascribing to jealousy. |