"So, my old friend, here have been fine doings among you. How are things now?"

"Why, Mr. Medium, (for that, Sir, is my name) only fo, fo; I don't believe I fhall ever get him

out."

"Get him out! Get who out?"

"Why, the fellow I let the house to in Conftitution Row. They called him a packer. D-n fuch packers! he a'nt worth a groat; and now he fwears he won't part with the leafe, unless I give him fifty pounds !"

Leaving this unfortunate landlord, who, like Sam, was thinking of nothing but his own bufinefs, I repaired to the fhop of an eminent pastry-cook, a great politician, and what they call "a very forward man in the parish." His firft queftion, as ufual, confifted of two words- What news?""

"I really know none. I have been in the country for fome time; but I learn that all the fat is in the fine among you."

"Lord! yes, we are in a d-nable stew, that's for certain."

"But what, when, how?"

"Why, for my part, I do verily believe there has been fome ftrange kick-up above ftairs-we can't carry on a trade at this rate."

(Now, thought I, I fhall hear the whole of the plot.) "I believe," continued Mr. Pyecruft, "I believe we must fit out fome fhips."

"But how has this happened?"

"Happened! you must know that a few nights ago a moft delicious froft came on, the only chance we had; but, egad! next morning, the weather was as warm as in July."

"Well, but what is all this to the plot?"

"Plot! plot! I don't know what you mean by a plot-but this I can tell you, that if we have not a fwinging froft, or fit out fhips for Greenland, you'll have no ice next fummer-that's all."

I declare,

I declare, Mr. Editor, I left this man's fhop with fome degree of difguft as well as difappointment.Strange that a man living in the very heart of a plot, with a combination on one fide, an infurrection on the other, with a combuftion before, and alarming reports behind-that fuch a man fhould think of nothing but cooling his wines! My blood was boiling at this fellow, when, luckily, as I thought, I met with Mr. Rupee, a Director of the honourable Eaft-India Company, and a very particular friend. From his high rank and ftanding with the great men weft of Temple Bar, I concluded that I fhould have the business properly explained. After the ufual compliments, I ventured to afk the Eaftern Chief fome questions.

"I am told, Mr. Rupee, there is fome very great alarm among you."

"There is, indeed, my dear friend. In all my life I never knew fo critical a period. I fee nothing but ruin."

"You alarm me: but explain."

"What! is it poffible you can be ignorant? Where the devil can you have been? Heard nothing! Why, have you not read of the refolutions of feveral trading towns? They want to lay open our trade; Sir, they want to break up our monopoly !"

I faw now, Mr. Editor, that it was time to pursue my journey; and finding all quiet in the city, I turned weftward. The firft acquaintance I met in the Strand, was a favourite fon of Thefpis, coming from the theatre, where he had some morning business.

"So, Billy, I know you are pretty familiar with some of the great. What am I to understand by this plot ; or is there in fact any plot?"

"Why, yes, friend Medium, there is a plot, and between ourselves, a d--n'd plot."

"Well, but can you give me an outline of it! What is the purpose of it? Who are concerned in it?” "O, willingly, for you must know it depends on me a good deal."

« On

"On you! you !---you of all men!"

"Yes, me! I was drawn into it purely to oblige a friend, for such things are not much in my line; but I don't think the public will bear it."

"Bear it! I hope not, with all my foul!"

"Nay, he is a pleasant dog enough, and I wish him well; but I must fay the plot is plaguey lame---Don Guzman falls in love with the daughter of Don Antonio, but Carlos, a fpirited young fellow---I play Carlos.---"

I thought, Mr. Editor, I could not escape too foon from this unraveller of plots, and accordingly posted away farther and farther weftward, in hopes of intelligence; but I am forry to fay I found every body too intent on their own business and contrivances, to think of any plot against government. I was about to return home in dudgeon, when I met with an acquaintance belonging to a public office, and entreated him to give me a little infight into the bufinefs. "What," fays he, "have you come fo far without reading the whole matter. Pr'ythee return, and confult the bills upon the dead walls; I can't recommend a better place than the wall of the British Museum, which is a fund of public information."

Silly as this advice feemed, I determined to take it, but my difappointments were not yet to end. All I could read on the wall mentioned, I now send you, and I confess I do think that there is fomething cabalistical and myfterious in the words, which I hope fome of your readers will explain.

SOCIETY AGAINST LEVELLERS.

SETS OUT EVERY MORNING AT 8, AND DINE AT OXFORD.

RIGHTS OF MAN.

HAD ON WHEN HE WENT AWAY A DARK BROWN

COAT.

ALEXANDER MACKENZIE, MY COACHMAN. SAVES SOAP, SAVES CANDLES, SAVES LABOUR.

Such, Mr. Editor, is the principal part of the information I have been able to obtain. If within a fort

214 SONG ON MR. FOX'S BIRTH DAY, 1798.

night from this date I do not hear more from you, or fome of your correfpondents, on the fubject, I fhall certainly advertise, and offer a reward of an hundred pounds for this plot, or a fum for any part of it in proportion. Mean time, I am, Sir,

[Chronicle.]

Your humble fervant,

MARMADUKE MEDIUM. '

SUNG AT THE ANNIVERSARY OF MR, FOX'S BIRTH-DAY,

T

IN 1798.

O Dan Apollo of old, when young Phaeton came
And ask'd him permiffion to kindle his flame,
But little the god thought of taking that oath,
Which was facred among gods and goddeffes both.
Tol de rol, &c.

To the boy's proud ambition compell'd to give way,
He harness'd his fteeds to the car of the day;
The lad feiz'd the reigns, and quite proud of the whip,
Tipp'd the nags the long trot, but they gave him the flip.
Tol de rol, &c.

Tho' they scamper'd along at fo fpeedy a rate,
This fon of a god was quite blind to his fate;
And forgetting the maxims that fell from his fire,
Quite unable to drive, fet the world all on fire.
Tol de rol, &c.
Juft thus has our national charioteer, Pitt,
To drive the ftate-coach of the kingdom thought fit;
And difdaining to ride a poftillion to Fox,
That ableft of coachmen-he pushed from the box.
Tol de rol, &c.

The guard was afleep in the basket behind;
So he mounted the box, fix'd himself to his mind:
In the dark he took up a most ponderous load,
And flounder'd-not knowing one step of the road.
Tol de rol, &c.

The

The load was fo heavy-fo dark was the night,
That he foon loft his way-yet he fwore he was right;
And, rather than part with the reins, or the whip,
He flogg'd the poor cattle from shoulder to hip!

along!

Tol de rol, &c.

Soon the paffengers faw the great diff'rence of skill
Between their old coachman and poftillion Will,
Who, firm in his feat, tho' he knew he was wrong,
Damn'd his fare, fuck'd his quid-and then box'd it
Tol de rol, &c.
In vain did the wretches discover their fright;
In vain did they afk-nay, infift, they would 'light:
He told them he drove for his mafter the King;
And 'twas then they found out-they had loft-the check-
Tol de rol, &c.
But foon, now they're ftuck in the mire, may they feel
'Tis time each his fhoulder fhould clap to the wheel;
Or else their mad coachman, still calling on heav'n,
Will fink 'em fo deep, that no aid can be giv'n!
Tol de rol, &c.

ftring!

Then, like Phaeton, he who thus dar'd to afpire,
Proud Charioteer Pitt will confume in his fire;
"Till Fox, like Apollo, again takes the fway,
To prove none can rule-like the God of the Day.
Tol de rol. &c.

REAL ANECDOTE OF A QUAKER.

N honeft country Quaker, who was lately driv

Aing his calf to Manchefter market, put a flaming

cockade upon one fide of its head, and being met on the road by a friend, who enquired of him what he was driving before him, the Quaker replied, in his plain country dialect," Doesn't thou fee, friend, what I am driving before me? A young recruit, to be fure." Upon which, the other demanded of him, where he was going with him? "Why, were do'st thou think. I am going with him?" anfwered the Quaker, “but to the butcher's flaughter-house.” A Quaker

T