THE FATHERS; OR THE GOOD-NATUR'D MAN. ACT I.-SCENE I. SCENE, a Parlour in MR. BONCOUR'S House. Enter BONCOUR and MRS. BONCOUR. BONCOUR. PRAY be pacified Mrs. Bonc. It is intolerable, and I will never submit to it. Bonc. But, my dear! Mrs. Bonc. Good Mr. Boncour, leave off that odious word; you know I detest it; such fulsome stuff is nauseous to the ears of a woman of strict virtue. Bonc. I don't doubt your virtue. Mrs. Bonc. You don't-I am very much oblig'd to you, indeed; nor any one else, I apprehend: I thank Heaven my carriage is such that I dare confront the world. Bonc. You mistake me, Madam. Mrs. Bonc. That is as much as to say I have not common understanding; to be sure, I can't comprehend any thing. Bonc. I should be sorry to think I had given you any reason to be out of humour. Mrs. Bonc. Then I am in the wrong; a wife is always in the wrong, certainly; it is impossible for a wife to be in the right in any thing. Bonc. My dear, I never said so. Mrs. Bonc. That is as much as to say, I don't tell truth: I desire you will treat me with good manners at least; that I think I may expect. A woman of virtue, H who brought you a fortune, may expect that. Bonc. Madam, I esteem you for your virtue, and am grateful to you for your fortune; I should blush if you could upbraid me with lavishing it on my own pleasures, or ever denying you the enjoyment of it. Mrs. Bonc. How! have I a coach at my command ? you keep one, indeed, but I am sure I have no command of it. Bonc. Indeed you wrong me. Mrs. Bonc. Why, have you not lent it this very morning without my knowledge? Bonc. My dear, I thought the chariot would have serv'd. Mrs. Bonc. How can that serve when I am to take three other ladies with me. Bonc. Who's there? Enter SERVANT. Bid John take the chariot to my cousin, and let the coach attend my wife-I ask your pardon, child; I own I should have told you of it, but business really put it out of my head. Mrs. Bonc. Well, and suppose I should find but one of the ladies at home, must I drag about a heavy coach all over the town, like an alderman's or a country justice of peace's lady? Bonc. Nay, since you are so unresolv'd-the promise was not absolute; you shall not be uneasy on any account―Tell the fellow he need not go to my cousin at all (Exit Servant) now, my dear, you may have your choice, and I hope you will be easy. Mrs. Bonc. Easy! yes; I have a great deal of reason to be easy, truly; now your relations, if they have not the coach will lay the whole blame upon me; sure never was so unfortunate a creature as I am!-no, let them have both, and then they will be satisfied; I dare say I shall find a coach amongst my acquaintance, though you deny me your's. [Exit. Bonc. So this comes of meddling with matters out of my sphere; but I deserve it, who know her temper so well. Enter SIR GEORGE BONCOUR. Sir Geo. Brother, good morrow, I hope no accident hath happened, for I met my sister in a violent hurry at the door. Bonc. No, nothing extraordinary: wives will have their humours, you know. Sir Geo. Ay, wives who have such husbands. Bonc. I hope I give her no occasion to be uneasy. Sir Geo. Indeed you do-You are a very wicked man, brother. Bonc. How! Sir Geo. For you have spoilt a very good sort of a woman; you have many an uneasy hour, many a heartache, many a sigh, and many a tear to answer for, which you have been the occasion of to my poor sister. Bonc. I don't remember I ever deny'd her any thing. Sir Geo. That is the very reason; for what can a poor woman be oblig'd to consult so unsteady as her own inclinations ? If you would contradict her a A little, it would prevent her contradicting herself. man pretends to be a good husband, and yet imposes continually that hard task upon his wife, to know what she has a mind to. Bonc. Brother, I admit raillery, but I should contemn myself, if I refused any thing to a woman who brought me so immense a fortune, to which my circumstances were so very unequal: I do not think with the world, that I make a woman amends for robbing her of her fortune, by taking her person into the bargain. Sir Geo. I would not have you rob her; I would only have you keep her from robbing herself. Ah! I should have made an excellent husband, if I could ever have been persuaded to marry. Bonc. Doubtless your wife would have agreed rarely with this doctrine. Sir Geo. She must have been a most unreasonable woman else; for I should have desired no more of her than only to do whatever I would have her. I am not that person you would make me appear; for, except a few diversions which I have an antipathy to, such as music, balls, cards, plays, operas, assemblies, visits, and entertainments, I should scarce ever deny her any thing. Bonc. Your exceptions put me in mind of some general pardons, where every thing is forgiven except crimes. Sir Geo. I suppose you would have me suffer her to keep an assembly and rendezvous of all such idle people as can't stay at home; that is, have nothing to do any where else. Bonc. Perhaps I love an assembly no more than you. Sir Geo. Why do you keep one then? Bonc. For the same reason that I do many other things not very agreeable to me, to gratify my wife. |