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Swith to the Laigh Kirk, ane an' a',
An' there tak up your stations;
Then aff to B-gb-'s in a raw,

An' pour divine libations

For joy this day.

II.

Curst Common-sense, that imp o' h-ll,
Cam in wi' Maggie Lauder ;*
But O******* aft made her yell,
An' R***** sair misca'd her;
This day M******* takes the flail,
And he's the boy will blaud her!
He'll clap a shangan on her tail,
An' set the bairns to daub her

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Mak haste an' turn king David owre,

An' lilt wi' holy clangor;

O' double verse come gie us four,

An' skirl up the Bangor:

This day the kirk kicks up a stoure,
Nae mair the knaves shall wrang her,

For Heresy is in her pow'r,'

An' gloriously shall whang her

Wi' pith this day.

IV.

Come, let a proper text be read,
An' touch it aff wi' vigour,

*Alluding to a scoffing ballad which was made on the admis. sion of the late Reverend and worthy Mr. L, to the Laigh Kirk.

How graceless Ham* leugh at his Dad,
Which made Canaan a niger;

Or Phineast drove the murdering blade,
Wi' wh-re-abhorring rigour;

Or Zipporah, the scauldin jade,

Was like a bluidy tiger

I' th' inn that day.

V.

There, try his mettle on the creed,
And bind him down wi' caution,
That Stipend is a carnal weed
He takes but for the fashion;
And gie him o'er the flock, to feed,
And punish each transgression;
Especial, rams that cross the breed,
Gie them sufficient threshin,

Spare them nae day.

VI.

Now auld Kilmarnock cock thy tail,

And toss thy horns fu' canty;

Nae mair thou'lt rowte out owre the dale,

Because thy pasture's scanty;

For lapfu's large o' gospel kail

Shall fill thy crib in plenty,

An' runts o' grace the pick and wale,

No gi'en by way o' dainty,

But ilka day.

* Genesis, ch. ix. ver. 22.
+ Numbers, ch. xxv. ver. 8.
+ Exodus, ch. iv. ver. 25.

VII.

Nae mair by Babel's streams we'll weep,

To think upon our Zion;

And hing our fiddles up to sleep,

Like baby-clouts a-dryin:

Come, screw the pegs wi' tunefu' cheep,
And o'er the thairms be tryin;

Oh, rare! to see our elbucks wheep,

An' a' like lamb-tails flyin

Fu' fast this day!

VIII.

Lang Patronage, wi' rod o' airn,
Has shor'd the Kirk's undoin,
As lately F-nw-ck, sair forfairn,
Has proven to its ruin :

Our Patron, honest man! Glencairn,
He saw mischief was brewin;

And like a godly elect bairn,

He's wal'd us out a true ane,

IX.

And sound this day.

Now R******* harangue nae mair,
But steek your gab for ever:
Or try the wicked town of A**,
For there they'll think you clever;
Or, nae reflection on your lear,
Ye may commence a Shaver;
Or to the N-th-rt-n repair,
And turn a Carpet-weaver

Aff-hand this day.

X.

M***** and you were just a match,
We never had sic twa drones:

Auld Hornie did the Laigh Kirk watch,
Just like a winkin baudrons:

And ay' he catch'd the tither wretch,
To fry them in his caudrons :
But now his honour maun detach,
Wi' a' his brimstone squadrons,

Fast, fast this day.

XI.

See, see auld Orthodoxy's faes
She's swingein thro' the city:
Hark, how the nine-tail'd cat she plays!
I vow its unco pretty :

There, Learning, with his Greekish face,
Grunts out some Latin ditty;

And Common Sense is gaun, she says,
To mak to Jamie Beattie

Her plaint this day.

XII.

But there's Morality himsel,

Embracing all opinions;

Hear, how he gies the tither yell,

Between his twa companions; See, how she peels the skin an' fell, As ane were peelin onions!

Now there-they're packed aff to hell,

And banish'd our dominions,

Henceforth this day.

XIII.

O happy day! rejoice! rejoice!
Come bouse about the porter!
Morality's demure decoys

Shail here nae mair find quarter:
M********, R*****, are the boys,
That Heresy can torture;
They'll gie her on a rape a hoyse,

And cow her measure shorter

By th' head some day.

XIV.

Come, bring the tither mutchkin in,
And here's, for a conclusion,
To every New Light* mother's son,
From this time forth, Confusion:
If mair they deave us with their din,
Or Patronage intrusion,

We'll light a spunk, and, ev'ry skin,
We'll rin them aff in fusion

Like oil, some day.

New Light is a cant phrase, in the West of Scotland, for those religious opinions which Dr. Taylor of Norwich has defended so strenuously.

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