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there imitations of Derbyshire spar, artists; and as often as you will which have been effected by che- step into his room, Courtenay will mical process, as also various spe- entertain you with a dissertation cimens of mineralogy. Around you on “Raphael, Corregio, and stuff," are excellent prints, in neat frames, and ask no price for his trouble, of the favourite works of the best except a patient hearing.
These are the leading members, the literary phænomena of our excellent institution. We have besides sundry 'minor luminaries, of whom I will take at present a brief notice, leaving them to develope their own characters more fully by the part they will take in our proceedings.
ALEXANDER M'FARLANE is a ing to the amusement which each Scotchman, possessed of all the is likely to afford to our readers, characteristics of his countrymen. would certainly have stood at the His habits, his manners, his preju. head of the list. Our young sportsdices, are all strictly national. His men will be glad to learn, that, temper is by nature hasty, a de- although we present ourselves to fect which is not a little heightened their notice as a literary associaby his deep sense of honour, and tion, we have, in Robert Mushis overbearing pride of ancestry. grave, a “knowing one," whom He is possessed of considerable we can safely recommend to their information on various topics; notice as a model, and an oracle in and as he is particularly deep read all those matters for which they in the legends and superstitions of were formerly accustomed to refer the Highlands, will occasionally to the “Sporting Magazine.” His indulge the reader with a narrative most remarkable peculiarity is his of the
feud between the Macgregor proficiency in the slang of the and the M‘Callummore, or a dis- coach-box, as he seldom favours us sertation on the Brownie of Glen- with a speech which is not plentimore, or the Fahm of Glen-Avin.* fully seasoned with what he him
PATRICK O'Connor is the re- self terms “ vehicular metaphors.” presentative of the Irish part of The whole scope and tenor of his our little community. His insur- ideas may be collected from the mountable good humour, and the humorous tone of indignant disutter unconsciousness which he appointment with which he comevinces to the frequent sarcasms menced his first letter to Sir levelled at him by his brother mem- Robert, after his arrival at Eton : bers, render him a most agreeable
66 Dam'me Father--why, they addition to our party : but as his don't allow top-boots !" reading has not been very exten John BURTON is the only son sive, nor his pen much exercised, of a substantial inhabitant of Lud. he will be of little use to our gate-hill, in whose steps he treads readers, -unless he may chance to with great assiduity. His very strike out a new Bull, which we infancy afforded perpetual preunderstand is much wanted for dictions of his future ciphering the next edition of Joe Miller. celebrity; for it is related of him
ROBERT MUSGRAVE, if our cha- that he always preferred the inracters had been arranged accord- spection of the Ledger to “ The
* “ Fahm is a little ugly monster, who frequents the summits of the mountains around Glen-Avin, and no other place in this world that I know of."-Notes to Hogg's " Queen's Wake,”
Cabinetof Birds and Beasts;" and is advanced. Their characters are that he could utter quite distinctly, touched with the hand of a master “ twelve times twelve are one hun- in Patrick's last “ capital good dred and forty-four,” when the song,” pronunciation of “Gingerbread" “ There's a wonderful likeness in Miwas productive of sundry stutter. For the one is all • 'Yes,' and the other
chael and Joe ; ings and wry faces. His conver
all • No.'" sational powers are not great; but And now, reader, I have only he has his use in making a good one more character to introduce bargain for our Club dinners.
to your notice, viz. that of your WILLIAM ROWLEY desires me
humble servant, Richard Hongto describe him as “ Professor of SON, Secretary, officially desigGastrology and Head Cook to the
nated 6 Knave of Clubs." The King of Clubs,” an office for which description of one's own qualificahe is certainly in every respect tions is to most persons a very difqualified. He understands to a
ficult and a very invidious task; nicety,
but in my case the difficulty is "Quo gestu lepores, et quo Gallina secetur ;"
easily obviated, as I profess to and has spent some time at Paris
have no character of my own, but for the purpose of mastering the
must speak, write, and act, as my theory of sauces. This affection employers desire.' Reporting by for the good things of this world, turns the sentiments of Montgothough occasionally amusing, is mery,of Le Blanc, and of Sterling, often ill-timed and troublesome
I shall wear by turns the dress of
e ; for we frequently hear him discuss
the poet, the philosopher, and the ing the merits of rival patissiers, divine; while occasionally I shall while Martin Sterling is on his give you the pedigree of a hunter right hand quoting from Paley, from the pen of Robert Musgrave, and Le Blanc on his left elucidat
or a receipt of an inimitable soup ing the theory of atoms.
from the scrap-book of William JOSEPH LÓZell aud MICIĨAEL Rowley. In short, you will find OAKLEY afford so perfect a con
that I understand all sciences, and trast to each other, that I shall take upon myself all dispositionstake the liberty of introducing
“ Grammaticus, Rhetor, Geometres, Þie
tor, Aliptes, them hand-in-hand to the reader. Augur, Schenobates, Medicus, Magus The first is in the constant habit to continue my quotation, I will
omnia novi.” of assenting to the opinions of the
subjoin, last speaker; the latter is in the
" in cælum, jusseris, iho,”: habit of assenting to no opinion at which Dr. Johnson translates, all. The first is a pliant courtier, " And bid him go to Hell, to Hell be disposed to keep in with all parties; but which, in my case, may be
goes ;” the latter is a sturdy disputant, resolved to contend with the greatest “I'll go to the Devil* whenever you
rendered, pertinacity on every point which
please," I now hasten to resame the detail of the proceedings which ensued -upon the Chairman's giving notice that there was business before the house. When the acclamations, with which the party received the patriotic toast, before recorded, had subsided, PEREGRINE COURTENAY rose, and opened the subject somewhat to the following effect :
Scilicet The Printer's.-R. H.
“ GENTLEMEN --The enthusiasm of the Musæ Etonenses, were bewhich I have just seen manifested queathed to us, not merely as ornaby every member of our excellent mental heir-looms for our libraries, institution, has convinced me that but as spirit-stirring incitements no flowers of rhetoric, no subtile for our imitation; and how have arguments of logic, are here neces: we answered the claims so justly sary in behalf of the good cause,- made upon us ?
Where are the the real interests of Eton-(Hear, publications which are to support hear, hear.)—The reputation of the renown earned in the olden our foster-mother should be hand- time by the pens of our illustrious ed down from generation to gene- predecessors? Are we, Gentleration in undiminished lustre. The men, are we, I say, to look for much-admired writings of Griffin them in the pages of—The Saltand of Grildrig, and the rich stores bearer ?!”
(Here the President was interrupted by an universal murmur of indignation, in the midst of which MICHAEL OAKLEY rose, and, with much difficulty, succeeded in making himself heard.)
“Mr. President,--I dissent from, is nothing to us; and I don't see in limine, and disapproveof, in toto, what right we have to meddle any mention of "The Saltbearer.' with him.” «The Saltbearer' has done no- (" Very true.”—from JOSEPH thing,-(Hear, hear, hear,) and Lozell.)
MARTIN STERLING rose. - It was evident that strong scruples had pervaded the minds of the Meeting, as to the propriety of attacking their schoolfellow, and all appeared anxious to hear the opinion of a gentleman who bore so high a character for honour and integrity as Mr.Sterling. His speech was delivered nearly in the following words :
“GENTLEMEN,– I will state to particularly disgusted with the you briefly the reasons which in- indecorous and unjust insinuation duce me to hope that our worthy conveyed by the letter of Senex, President
be allowed to con- in No. III., which attributes to tinue his remarks on the Eton the Etonians of the present day, Salt-bearer.' In the first place, I not merely a thoughtless foible, or think we shall act with perfect a casual error, but a malicious justice towards the Editor of that spirit of ill-nature, by which I am work, if we take his conduct as sure our schoolfellows are never the rule for ours. Has Mr. Book- influenced.-- (Cries of Right,right, worm shown any regard for the never !).—But, independent of characters of his fellow-citizens ? these considerations, I am of opiThe whole of his work is calculated nion that the President should to bring disgrace upon the school state at once the motives on which collectively, and upon each of us he grounds a design, which I unindividually.--(Hear, hear.)-- derstand he is about to submit to His three Numbers appear to me us ; that this design may stand or deliberate libels upon the abilities fall by those motives.”—(Hear, of our generation ; but I am more hear, hear.)
Mr. OAKLEY attempted no reply, but preserved a sullen silence; upon which the President resumed :
“GENTLEMEN - It is of course shall therefore only allude to “The a disagreeable task to speak with Salt-bearer' as far as is necessary severity of a schoolfellow; and I for the prosecution of my own
design. The murmurs, which I have tion of the work, though disapjust heard, prove to me that your pointed and disgusted with the opinion of the work coincides with execution.—(Hear.)- By readers my own.-(Perfectly, from Lo- of this description it is believed, zell ;—No, from Oakley.)-You that the united efforts of Etonian think with me, that the work is talent are concentrated in The not calculated to reflect credit on Salt-bearer. Let it be rememEton. You may, perhaps, answer, bered also, that the jealousy of that the publication was set on other public schools is anxiously foot without the concurrence, or
on the watch for an instance of even the knowledge of the senior our degradation in literature, and members of the School, and per- equally ready to take any advansisted in, notwithstanding the tage, as a certain one proved itself decided disapprobation of the upou occasion of the paltry victory community at large.—(Hear,hear, which it gained over us in the hear.)--This, to be sure, is well cricket field. The Salt-bearer,' known within the bounds of the Gentlemen, has gone forth to battle College; and to some few at the in the name of
all!-(MurUniversities who keep up a direct murs.)-I perceive that you think communication with Eton. But it – you feel—as I do; and I will is not so with the majority of those, therefore no longer delay the queswho, from old associations, or a tion which I
disrespect for the school, interest cussion :- What remedy is to be themselves in its welfare; and devised for the evil complained were gratified with the annuncia- of ? »
Here the confusion was so great, in consequence of the number of Gentlemen who delivered their opinions at the same time, that it is impossible for me to report the proceedings with any degree of accuracy. GOLIGHTLY wished to know in what manner the title of
Salt-bearer was applicable to the work in question ?-Sir FRANCIS defended the name, as fit and appropriate, for Mr. B. B. had really acted the part of a Montem Salt-bearer; who gives you a bit of worthless
paper in exchange for sterling money.-Sir Francis was proceeding, when his voice became inaudible, amidst loud shouts of applause, intermingled with faint cries of Order, order!-No politics ! -Mr. Lozell chimed in with each member's opinion, with a “decidedly,” “obviously,” “ no doubt;" to which Mr. OAKLEY subjoined his “ nonsense,” absurd,”
» 66 ridiculous.” The tumult having subsided, the President resumed :
6 Gentlemen, I will therefore may be, the effects produced by detain from you no longer the pro- the Eton Salt-bearer; and that for position I have to submit to you. this purpose a periodical publicaIt is my earnest recommendation tion be immediately started, under that we should endeavour to efface the auspices of the King of by our own efforts, humble as they Clubs.”
The warmth and eagerness which had been evinced by several Honourable Gentlemen for an opportunity to express their sentiments, died into perfect silence; except that Mr. Musgrave continued to mutter, with a truly ludicrous nonchalance, strange new coach;"
cursed rough road;"_" take care your cattle are in good condition before you leave the office.” A mistrust of their own powers, ac
companied by a due sense of the importance and difficulty of the
Mr. COURTENAY, in a luminous of its conductors.-(Hear, hear.) and forcible manner,obviated these -The worthy Chairman then objections to his proposal. He re- closed his remarks in the followpresented, that the few hours ing manner:~" There is still one which the prosecution of this de- objection to my design which I sign would occupy, need not in- deem it proper to notice; it has terfere in the slightest degree with been frequently urged, that it is those studies, which ought, of the province of boys rather to course, to be our primary con- learn than to teach. I acquiesce, sideration; and that the advan- Gentlemen, in the justice of this tages to be derived from the early remark; and I am of opinion that cultivation of English composition onr progress in learning would be would amply compensate for the very much furthered by the adopinroads it would make upon our tion of my proposal. For we shall leisure hours. He argued that the find it necessary to read before we world at large, and our fellow- can write ; before we discuss a citizens in particular, would be far subject, we must learn what has from casting ridicule on a work been said of it by older and wiser begun from praiseworthy motives, men: and we shall thus combine and continued on honourable prin- the improvement of ourselves with ciples.-(Hear, hear.)—He next the amusement of our schoolfel. pointed out the absurdity of the lows.-( Applause.)-I will now idea that our instructors, whose detain you no longer. If you constant hope is for our welfare, think that I have successfully comwhose constant study is for our
bated the objections which your improvement, should object to a diffidence has brought forward, I work, whose principal design is to can assure you that you will find remove the obloquy which has in the citizens of our little world been brought, by means of “The a competent and an unprejudiced Salt-bearer,” both on the talents jury," of the School, and the attention
The worthy President resumed his seat amidst loud and repeated cheering.
The Hon. GerARD MONTGOMERY supported the Chairman's arguments with great ability.
It is needless to pursue the Hon. Gentleman's arguments ; his efforts, combined with those of the President, produced such complete success, that the feeling of the Meeting appeared to be unanimous, and even Oakley refrained from expressing his dissent.
The PRESIDENT then rose, and briefly addressed the assembly as follows:
“ GENTLEMEN,- Finding that lutions which I hold in my hand. you are agreed on the subject of For this purpose I move that the my original proposal, I will beg House do now resolve itself into a your attention, while I submit to Committee. your consideration a list of Reso.