dressed by the common laws of this land, whether they be short bows, cold salutations, supercilious looks, unreturned smiles, distant behaviour, or forced familiarity; as also all such as have been aggrieved by any ambiguous expression, accidental justle, or unkind repartee; likewise all such as have been defrauded of their right to the wall, tricked out of the upper end of the table, or have been suffered to place themselves, in their own wrong, on the back-seat of the coach. These, and all of these, I do, as I above said, invite to bring in their several cases and complaints, in which they shall be relieved with all imaginable expedition.

I am very sensible, that the office I have now taken upon me will engage me in the disquisition of many weighty points, that daily perplex the youth of the British nation; and, therefore, I have already discussed several of them for my future use: as, "how far a man may brandish his cane in telling a story, without insulting his hearer;" "what degree of contradiction amounts to the lie; "how a man shall resent another's staring and cocking a hat in his face;" "if asking pardon is an atonement for treading upon one's toes; "whether a man may put up with a box on the ear, received from a stranger in the dark;" or, "whether a man of honour may take a blow of his wife;" with several other subtilties of the like nature.

For my direction in the duties of my office, I have furnished myself with a certain astrological pair of scales, which I have contrived for this purpose. In one of them I lay the injuries, in the other the reparations. The first are represented by little weights made of a metal resembling iron, and the other of gold. These are not only lighter than the weights made use of in avoirdupois, but also such as are used in Troy weight. The heaviest of those that represent the injuries amount but to a scruple; and decrease by so many sub-divisions, that there are several imperceptible weights which cannot be seen without the help of a very fine microscope. I might acquaint my reader, that these scales were made under the influence of the sun when he was in Libra, and describe many signatures on the

weights both of injury and reparation : but as this would look rather to proceed from an ostentation of my own art, than any care for the public, I shall pass it over in silence.

THE GRAPE IN MODERATION.

No. 252. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1710. [STEELE.]

THE following letter, and several others to the same purpose, accuse me of a rigour of which I am far from being guilty, to wit, the disallowing the cheerful use of wine.

"From my Country-house, October 25.

"MR. BICKERSTAFF,

"Your discourse against drinking, in Tuesday's Tatler, I like well enough in the main ; but, in my humble opinion, you are become too rigid, where you say to this effect: Were there only this single consideration, that we are the less masters of ourselves if we drink the least proportion beyond the exigence of thirst. I hope no one drinks wine to allay this appetite. This seems to be designed for a loftier indulgence of nature; for it were hard to suppose that the Author of Nature, who imposed upon her her necessities and pains, does not allow her her proper pleasures; and we may reckon among the latter the moderate use of the grape. Though I am as much against excess, or whatever approaches it, as yourself; yet I conceive one may safely go farther than the bounds you there prescribe, not only without forfeiting the title of being one's own master, but also to possess it in a much greater

degree. If a man's expressing himself upon any subject with more life and vivacity, more variety of ideas, more copiously, more fluently, and more to the purpose, argues it; he thinks clearer, speaks more ready, and with greater choice of comprehensive and significant terms. I have the good fortune now to be intimate with a gentleman* remarkable for this temper, who has an inexhaustible source of wit to entertain the curious, the grave, the humorous, and the frolic. He can transform himself into different shapes, and adapt himself to every company; yet in a coffee-house, or in the ordinary course of affairs, he appears rather dull than sprightly. You can seldom get him to the tavern ; but when once he is arrived to his pint, and begins to look about and like his company, you admire a thousand things in him, which before lay buried. Then you discover the brightness of his mind, and the strength of his judgment, accompanied with the most graceful mirth. In a word, by this enlivening aid, he is whatever is polite, instructive, and diverting. What makes him still more agreeable is, that he tells a story, serious or comical, with as much delicacy of humour as Cervantes himself. And for all this, at other times, even after a long knowledge of him, you shall scarce discern in this incomparable person a whit more, than what might be expected from one of a common capacity. Doubtless, there are men of great parts that are guilty of downright bashfulness, that, by a strange hesitation and reluctance to speak, murder the finest and most elegant thoughts, and render the most lively conceptions flat and heavy.

"In this case, a certain quantity of my white or red cordial, which you will, is an easy, but an infallible remedy. It awakens the judgment, quickens the memory, ripens the understanding, disperses melancholy, cheers the heart; in a word, restores the whole man to himself and his friends, without the least pain or indisposition to the patient. To be taken only in the evening, in a reasonable quantity, before going to bed. Note; My bottles are sealed with three flower-de-luces

* Addison. Until wine had made pleasant summer in his veins, Addison was too shy in giving full rein to his brilliant powers of conversation.

and a bunch of grapes. Beware of counterfeits. I am your

most humble servant, &c."

Whatever has been said against the use of wine, upon the supposition that it enfeebles the mind, and renders it unfit for the duties of life, bears forcibly to the advantage of that delicious juice in cases where it only heightens conversation, and brings to light agreeable talents, which otherwise would have lain concealed under the oppression of an unjust modesty. I must acknowledge I have seen many of the temper mentioned by this correspondent, and own wine may very allowably be used, in a degree above the supply of mere necessity, by such as labour under melancholy, or are tongue-tied by modesty. It is certainly a very agreeable change, when we see a glass raise a lifeless conversation into all the pleasures of wit and good-humour. But when Caska adds to his natural impudence the fluster of a bottle, that which fools called fire when he was sober, all men abhor as outrage when he is drunk. Thus he, that in the morning was only saucy, is in the evening tumultuous. It makes one sick to hear one of these fellows say, "they love a friend and a bottle." Noisy mirth has something too rustic in it to be considered without terror by men of politeness but while the discourse improves in a well-chosen company, from the addition of spirits which flow from moderate cups, it must be acknowledged, that leisure time cannot be more agreeably, or perhaps more usefully, employed, than at such meetings. There is a certain prudence in this, and all other circumstances, which makes right or wrong in the conduct of ordinary life.

CHARGE OF THE CENSOR.

No. 253. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1710.
[ADDISON AND STEELE.]

Pietate gravem ac meritis si fortè virum quem
Conspexere, silent, arrectisque auribus astant.

VIRG. En. i. 115.

If then some grave and pious man appear,

They hush their noise, and lend a listening ear.

Extract of the Journal of the Court of Honour, 1710.

Die Lunæ, vicesimo Novembris, horâ nonâ antemeridianâ.

THE Court being sat, an oath prepared by the Censor was administered to the assistants on his right-hand, who were all sworn upon their honour. The women on his left-hand took the same oath upon their reputation. Twelve gentlemen of the horse-guards were impanelled, having unanimously chosen Mr. Alexander Truncheon, who is their right-hand man in the troop, for their foreman in the jury. Mr. Truncheon immediately drew his sword, and, holding it with the point towards his own body, presented it to the Censor. Mr. Bickerstaff received it; and, after having surveyed the breadth of the blade, and sharpness of the point, with more than ordinary attention, returned it to the foreman in a very graceful manner. The rest of the jury, upon the delivery of the sword to their foreman, drew all of them together as one man, and saluted the bench with such an air, as signified the most resigned submission to those who commanded them, and the greatest magnanimity to execute what they should command.

Mr. Bickerstaff, after having received the compliments on his right-hand, cast his eye upon the left, where the whole female jury paid their respects by a low courtesy, and by laying their hands upon their mouths. Their forewoman was a professed Platonist, that had spent much of her time in ex