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Val. To do what?
Speed. To yourself: why, she wooes you by a figure.
Val. What figure ?
Speed. What need she, when she hath made you write to yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest ?
Val. No, believe me.
Speed. No believing you indeed, sir : but did you perceive her earnest ?
Val. She gave me none, except an angry word.
Speed. And that letter bath she delivered, and there an end.1
Val. I would it were no worse.
Speed. I 'll warrant you, 'tis as well : For often have you writ to her; and she, in modesty, Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply; Or fearing else some messenger, that might her mind
discover, Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto
her lover.All this I speak in print ; ? for in print I found it,
1 There is the conclusion of the matter.
Why muse you, sir? 'tis dinner-time.
Val. I have dined.
Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir : though the cameleon Love can feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved.
Enter PROTEUS and JULIA.
Jul. If you turn not, you will return the sooner : Keep this remembrance for thy Julia's sake.
[giving a ring. Pro. Why then we 'll make exchange ; here, take
Pro. Here is my hand for my true constancy;
Have compassion on me, though your mistress has none on you.
That tide will stay me longer than I should :
[Exit Julia. Ay, so true love should do : it cannot speak ; For truth hath better deeds, than words, to grace it.
Pro. Go; I come, I come :-
Enter LAUNCE, leading a dog. Launce. Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the kind of the Launces have this very fault. I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think, Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives : my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruelhearted cur shed one tear : he is a stone, a very pebble-stone, and has no more pity in him than a dog : a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting : why, my grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father ;
wling; great perphe tear: b
—no, this left shoe is my father ;-no, no, this left shoe is my mother ;-nay, that cannot be so neither; -yes, it is so, it is so ; it hath the worser sole. This shoe, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father. A vengeance on’t! there 'tis : now, sir, this staff is my sister ; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand : this hat is Nan, our maid ; I am the dog :—no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog,0, the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so, so. Now come I to my father ; · Father, your blessing;' now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping ; now should I kiss my father ; well, he weeps on :—now come I to my mother, (0, that she could speak now !) like a wood 1 woman ;-well, I kiss her ;—why there 'tis ; here's my mother's breath up and down : now come I to my sister ; mark the moan she makes : now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor speaks a word ; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
Enter PANTHINO. Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard ; thy master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man ? Away, ass; you 'll lose the tide if you tarry any longer.
Launce. It is no matter if the ty'd were lost; for it is the unkindest ty'd that ever any man ty’d.
Pan. What's the unkindest tide ?
i Wild, distracted.
Launce. Why, he that 's ty'd here ; Crab, my dog.
Pan. Tut, man, I mean thou ’lt lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage ; and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing thy master, lose thy service ; and, in losing thy service,– Why dost thou stop my mouth ?
Launce. For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
Launce. Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service :—and the tide. Why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
Pan. Come, come, away, man; I was sent to call thee.
Launce. Sir, call me what thou darest.