Whereto if you'll a willing ear incline,
So, bring us to our palace; where we'll show What's mine is yours, and what is yours is What's yet behind, that's meet you all should mine.
Solinus, Duke of Ephesus.
Ægeon, a Merchant of Syracuse.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
Angelo, a Goldsmith.
Merchant, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse.
Twin Brothers, sons Pinch, a Schoolmaster and a Conjurer.
Emilia.
Egeon and Emilia, wife to Ægeon, an Abbess at Ephesus.
Adriana, Wife to Antipholus of Ephesus.
Twin Brothers, attend- Luciana, her Sister.
ants on the two Anti-Luce, servant to Adriana.
pholuses.
A Courtezan.
Gaoler, Officers, and other Attendants.
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Æge. Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall,
And by the doom of death end woes and all.
Duke. Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more.
I am not partial, to infringe our laws:
The enmity and discord which of late [duke
Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your
To merchants, our well-dealing countrymen,-
Who, wanting gilders to redeem their lives,
Have seal'd his rigorous statutes with their
bloods,
Excludes all pity from our threat'ning looks.
For, since the mortal and intestine jars
'Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us,
It hath in solemn synods been decreed,
Both by the Syracusans and ourselves,
To admit no traffic to our adverse towns:
Nay, more, if any, born at Ephesus,
Be seen at Syracusan marts and fairs;
Again, if any Syracusan born
Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,
His goods confiscate to the duke's dispose,
Unless a thousand marks be levied,
To quit the penalty and to ransom him.
Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,
Cannot amount unto a hundred marks;
Therefore, by law thou art condemn'd to die.
Ege. Yet this my comfort, - when your
words are done,
My woes end likewise with the evening sun.
Duke. Well, Syracusan, say, in brief, the
Why thou departedst from thy native home,
And for what cause thou cam'st to Ephesus.
Ege. A heavier task could not have been
impos'd,
Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable:
Yet, that the world may witness that my end
Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence,
I'll utter what my sorrow gives me leave.
In Syracusa was I born; and wed
Unto a woman, happy but for me,
And by me too, had not our hap been bad.
With her I liv'd in joy: our wealth increas'd
By prosperous voyages I often made
To Epidamnum; till my factor's death,
And the great care of goods at random left,
Drew me from kind embracements of my
[old,
From home my absence was not six months
Before herself (almost at fainting under
The pleasing punishment that women bear)
Had made provision for her following me,
And soon and safe arrived where I was.
There had she not been long, but she became
A joyful mother of two goodly sons; [other,
And, which was strange, the one so like the
As could not be distinguish'd but by names.
That very hour, and in the self-same inn,
A poor mean woman was delivered
Of such a burden, male twins, both alike. Those, for their parents were exceeding
I bought, and brought up to attend my sons.
My wife, not meanly proud of two such boys,
Made daily motions for our home return;
Unwilling I agreed. Alas, too soon,
We came aboard;
A league from Epidamnum had we sail'd,
Before the always wind-obeying deep
Gave any tragic instance of our harm:
But longer did we not retain much hope;
For what obscured light the heavens did grant,
Did but convey unto our fearful minds
A doubtful warrant of immediate death;
Which, though myself would gladly have em-
brac'd,
Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,
Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see,
I hazarded the loss of whom I lov'd.
Five summers have I spent in farthest Greece,
Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia;
And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus,
Hopeless to find, yet loth to leave unsought
Or that, or any place that harbours men.
But here must end the story of my life;
And happy were I in my timely death,
Could all my travels warrant me they live.
Duke. Hapless Egeon, whom the fates
have mark'd
To bear the extremity of dire mishap!
Weeping before for what she saw must come,
And piteous plainings of the pretty babes,
That mourn'd for fashion, ignorant what to fear,
Forc'd me to seek delays for them and me.
And this it was,--for other means was none.
The sailors sought for safety by our boat,
And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us:
My wife, more careful for the latter-born,
Had fasten'd him unto a small spare mast,
Such as sea-faring men provide for storms:
To him one of the other twins was bound,
Whilst I had been like heedful of the other.
The children thus dispos'd, my wife and I,
Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix'd,Now, trust me, were it not against our laws,
Fasten'd ourselves at either end the mast;
And floating straight, obedient to the stream,
Were carried towards Corinth as we thought.
At length, the sun, gazing upon the earth,
Dispers'd those vapours that offended us;
And, by the benefit of his wish'd light,
The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered
Two ships from far making amain to us;
Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this:
But ere they came,-O, let me say no more!
Gather the sequel by that went before.
Duke. Nay, forward, old man; do not
break off so;
For we may pity, though not pardon thee.
Ege. O, had the gods done so, I had not now
Worthily term'd them merciless to us!
For, ere the ships could meet by twice five
leagues,
We were encounter'd by a mighty rock;
Which being violently borne upon,
Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst ;
So that, in this unjust divorce of us,
Fortune had left to both of us alike
What to delight in, what to sorrow for.
Her part, poor soul! seeming as burdened
With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe,
Was carried with more speed before the wind;
And in our sight they three were taken up
By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought.
At length, another ship had seiz'd on us;
And, knowing whom it was their hap to save,
Gave healthful welcome to their shipwreck'd
guests;
And would have reft the fishers of their prey,
Had not their bark been very slow of sail,
And therefore homeward did they bend their
Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss;
That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd,
To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.
Duke. And, for the sake of them thou
sorrowest for,
Do me the favour to dilate at full
What hath befall'n of them, and thee, till now.
Ege. My youngest boy, and yet my eldest
At eighteen years became inquisitive [care,
After his brother; and importun'd me,
That his attendant (for his case was like,
Reft of his brother, but retain'd his name),
Might bear him company in the quest of him:
Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,
Which princes, would they, may not disannul,
My soul should sue as advocate for thee.
But though thou art adjudged to the death,
And passed sentence may not be recall'd
But to our honour's great disparagement,
Yet will I favour thee in what I can:
Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day,
To seek thy life by beneficial help.
Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus;
Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum,
And live; if no, then thou art doom'd to die.
Gaoler, take him to thy custody.
[wend, Æge. Hopeless, and helpless, doth Ægeon But to procrastinate his lifeless end. [Exeunt.
SCENE II.-A public Place.
Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, Dromio of
Syracuse, and a Merchant.
Mer. Therefore, give out you are of Epi-
damnum,
Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
This very day, a Syracusan merchant
Is apprehended for arrival here;
And, not being able to buy out his life,
According to the statute of the town,
Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
There is your money that I had to keep.
Ant. S. Go bear it to the Centaur, where
And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
Within this hour it will be dinner-time :
Till that, I'll view the manners of the town,
Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
And then return, and sleep within mine inn,
For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
Get thee away.
[your word,
Dro. S. Many a man would take you at
And go indeed, having so good a mean.
[Exit.
Ant. S. A trusty villain, sir; that very oft,
When I am dull with care and melancholy,
Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
What, will you walk with me about the town,
And then go to my inn, and dine with me?
Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
Of whom I hope to make much benefit ;
I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o'clock,
Please you, I'E meet with you upon the mart,
And afterward consort you till bed-time:
My present business calls me from you now.
Ant. S. Farewell till then: I will go lose
myself,
And wander up and down to view the city.
Mer. Sir, I commend you to your own con-
tent.
[Exit.
Ant. S. He that commends me to mine own
content,
Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
I to the world am like a drop of water,
That in the ocean seeks another drop;
Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself:
So I, to find a mother, and a brother,
In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
Here comes the almanack of my true date.
What now? How chance thou art return'd so
soon?
[too late :
Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit,
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell,
My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
She is so hot, because the meat is cold;
The meat is cold, because you come not home;
You come not home, because you have no
stomach;
You have no stomach, having broke your fast;
But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray,
Are penitent for your default to-day.
Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray, [you? Where have you left the money that I gave Dro. E. 0,-sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper:The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now: Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust So great a charge from thine own custody? Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner:
I from my mistress come to you in post;
If I return, I shall be post indeed,
For she will score your fault upon my pate.
Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your
In what safe place you have bestow'd my money;
Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours, That stands on tricks when I am undispos'd; Where is the thousand marks thou had'st of me? [my pate;
Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders;
But not a thousand marks between you both. If I should pay your worship those again, Perchance you will not bear them patiently. Ant. S. Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, hast thou?
Dro. E. Your worship's wife, my mistress at the Phoenix ;
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner, And prays that you will hie you home to dinner. Ant. S. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto
Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. Dro. E. What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands!
Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. [Exit.
Ant. S. Upon my life, by some device or other,
The villain is o'er-raught of all my money.
They say this town is full of cozenage;
As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
And many such like liberties of sin :
If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave:
I greatly fear my money is not safe.
SCENE I.-Antipholus's House. Enter Adriana and Luciana.
Adr. Neither my husband, nor the slave
That in such haste I sent to seek his master ! Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
Luc. Perhaps some merchant hath invited him, [dinner. And from the mart he's somewhere gone to Good sister, let us dine, and never fret: A man is master of his liberty: Time is their master; and, when they see time, They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister. Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more?
[door. Luc. Because their business still lies out o Adr. Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill.
Luc. O, know he is the bridle of your will. Adr. There's none but asses will be bridled [woe.
Luc. Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with There's nothing, situate under heaven's eye,
But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky:
The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls,
Are their males' subjects, and at their controls:
Men, more divine, the masters of all these,
Lords of the wide world, and wild wat'ry seas,
Indu'd with intellectual sense and souls,
Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls,
Are masters to their females, and their lords:
Then, let your will attend on their accords.
Adr. This servitude makes you to keep
unwed.
[bed.
Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage-
Adr. But, were you wedded, you would
hear some sway?
Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey.
Adr. How if your husband start some other
where?
[bear.
Luc. Till he come home again, I would for-
Adr. Patience unmov'd, no marvel though
They can be meek, that have no other cause.
A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burden'd with like weight of pain,
As much, or more, we should ourselves com-
plain :
[thee,
So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve
With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve
But, if thou live to see like right bereft, [me;
This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left.
Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try.
Here comes your man; now is your husband
nigh.
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand?
Dro. E. Nay, he's at two hands with me,
and that my two ears can witness.
Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him?
Know'st thou his mind?
Dro. E. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear: beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel his meaning?
I know not thy mistress; out on thy mistress!'
Luc. Quoth who?
Dro. E. Quoth my master: [mistress."
"I know," quoth he, "no house, no wife, no
So that my errand, due unto my tongue,
I thank him, I bear home upon my shoulders;
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch
him home.
[home? Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten For God's sake, send some other messenger! Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate [other beating: Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with Between you, I shall have a holy head. Adr. Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy master home. [with me.
Dro. E. Am I so round with you, as you
That like a football you do spurn me thus?
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me
hither:
If I last in this service, you must case me in
leather.
[Exit.
Luc. Fie, how impatience loureth in your
face!
[grace,
Adr. His company must do his minions
Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.
Hath homely age th' alluring beauty took
From my poor cheek? then, he hath wasted it :
Are my discourses dull? barren my wit?
If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd,
Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard:
Do their gay vestments his affections bait?
That's not my fault,-he's master of my state :
What ruins are in me that can be found
By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground
Of my defeatures. My decayed fair
A sunny look of his would soon repair;
But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale,
And feeds from home: poor I am but his stale.
Luc. Self-harming jealousy !-fie, beat it
hence.
[dispense.
Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs I know his eye doth homage other where, Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could Or else, what lets it but he would be here? too well feel his blows; and withal so doubt-Sister, you know he promis'd me a chain : fully, that I could scarce understand them. Would that alone, alone he would detain, Adr. But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home? So he would keep fair quarter with his bed! It seems, he hath great care to please his wife. I see, the jewel best enamelled [still Dro. E. Why, mistress, sure my master is Will lose his beauty; and though gold bides Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain! [horn-mad. That others touch, yet often touching will Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; Wear gold: and no man that hath a name, But, sure, he is stark mad. By falsehood and corruption doth it shame. When I desir'd him to come home to dinner, Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold: I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die. **Tis dinner time," quoth I; "My gold," Luc. How many fond fools serve mad quoth he: [quoth he: jealousy! [Exeunt.
• Your meat doth burn," quoth I; "Mygold,' "Will you come home?" quoth I: "My
SCENE II.-A public Place.
Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.
Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, Ant. S. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid "The pig," quoth I, "is burn'd;" "My Safe at the Centaur: and the heedful slave [up gold," quoth he: [mistress! Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out. "My mistress, sir," quoth I: "Hang up thy By computation and mine host's report,
I could not speak with Dromio since at first
I sent him from the mart.-See, here he comes.
Enter Dromio of Syracuse.
How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? You receiv'd no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
Dro. S. What answer, sir? when spake I
such a word?
[an-hour since.
Ant. S. Even now, even here, not half-
Dro. S. I did not see you since you sent me
hence,
[me.
Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave
Ant. S. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's
And told'st me of a mistress, and a dinner; For which I hope thou felt'st I was displeas'd. Dro. S. I am glad to see you in this merry vein : [me. What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell Ant. S. Yea, dost thou jeer, and flout me in the teeth?
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that. [Beating him. Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest :
Upon what bargain do you give it me?
Ant. S. Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool, and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make
sport,
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanour to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
Dro. S. Sconce, call you it? so you would leave battering, I had rather have it a head :| an you use these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, and insconce it too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But, I pray, sir, why am I beaten?
Ant. S. Dost thou not know?
Dro. S. Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten. Ant. S. Shall I tell you why?
Dro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every why hath a wherefore.
Ant. S. Why, first,-for flouting me; and then, wherefore,--for urging it the second time to me. [beaten out of season, Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus When in the why and the wherefore is neither Well, sir, I thank you. [rhyme nor reason? Ant. S. Thank me, sir! for what?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time? [that I have. Dro. S. No, sir: I think the meat wants Ant. S. In good time, sir; what's that?
Ant. S. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry. Dro. S. If it be, sir, I pray you eat none Ant. S. Your reason? [of it. Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me another dry basting.
Ant. S. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a time for all things. Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.
Ant. S. By what rule, sir?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of father Time himself.
Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature.
Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and recovery?
Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the lost hair of another man. Ant. S. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement? Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit.
Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.
Dro. S. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers, without wit.
Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost : yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Ant. S. For what reason?
Dro. S. For two; and sound ones too.
Ant. S. Nay, not sound, I pray you.
Dro. S. Sure ones, then.
Ant. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
Dro. S. Certain ones, then.
Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he spends in trimming; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge.
Ant. S. You would all this time have proved there is no time for all things.
Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to recover hair lost by nature.
Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why there is no time to recover.
Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, and therefore, to the world's end, will have bald followers.
Ant. S. I knew 'twould be a bald conclusion. But soft! who wafts us yonder?
Enter Adriana and Luciana. Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange, and frown:
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects;
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
[vow
The time was once, when thou unurg'd wouldst
That never words were music to thine ear,
That never object pleasing in thine eye,
That never touch well welcome to thy hand.
That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste.
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